


Notting Hill AU

by Outofthegarden



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hollywood, Anya & Lexa (The 100) Are Siblings, Australian Clarke Griffin, Bisexual Clarke Griffin, Commander Hearteyes Lexa (The 100), Cute Lexa (The 100), Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Librarian Lexa (The 100), Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Modern Setting Clarke Griffin/Lexa, POV Lexa, Protective Clarke Griffin, Rich Clarke Griffin, Sassy Clarke Griffin, Useless Lesbian Lexa (The 100)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-06-02 05:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19434865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Outofthegarden/pseuds/Outofthegarden
Summary: Clexa movie AU. Notting Hill is one of my favouirte movies and I couldn't stop picturing in me head the character of Hugh Grant as Lexa and Julia Roberts as Clarke. We will never have enough Clexa stories and I'm very fond of cheesy rom-com.The life of a simple bookshop owner (Lexa) dramatically changes when the 'it' actress of the moment, the gorgeous Clarke Griffin, decides to visit a pintoresc bookshop in Notting Hill.





	1. The blue door

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, the story follow the same plot the movie has. However, you don't need to have watched/known the movie to enjoy this fic., I've use parts of the script/quotes but I made some changes and cut/add some scenes.  
> I'd like to say that this is not my first fic, and also English is not nore my first language, so please be kind. Nevertheless I really hope to receive opinions and constructive criticism.

Of course, I’ve seen her films and I know who she is. Breathtaking. That’s exactly my first thought when I saw the big ban promoting The Ark. The new movie of the ‘it’ actress of Hollywood. Clarke Griffin. She is fabulous — but you know she also lives in a different world I live in. A world thousand miles away, with big houses, parties… Me, on the other hand, well, I live in a nice place too, called Notting Hill.

Those were my thought as I walked by my neighborhood. And if Notting Hill is a nice place during weekdays, weekends are even better; fuller of people, markets, music, etc. From Portobello Road to Hill Gates. I can certainly say that Notting Hill is an eclectic spot where you can find and make some genuine memories. But, If I’m being honest, what I really love from this place is the people that live in this part of London.

My friend Octavia, _O_ for family and friends, ex-Royal Air Force turned chef, who recently invested all the money she earned in a new restaurant, TonDC. I mean, watching her every morning shouting and arguing with the dealers is priceless, I have yet to see one time she doesn’t have the best deal. Who would dare? She is petit but fearless. I waved at her from across the street while I saw how she received and approved a huge fresh salmon. She waved back with the fish still in her hands but didn’t waste any second to keep shouting the poor guy behind her.

A few steps ahead, Gustus tattoo parlor, a very unique place ran it by a tall man with a very long beard and serious face. Don’t be trick. He is a giant teddy bear. He is, also, one of the best tattoo artists in the city. My sister and I have visited his parlor several times over the years. Our first tattoo, right before College was designed and nicely done by Gus. We both got an intricate pattern in our bicep. There’s a story behind that… When we were kids we used to play and fantasied that we were warriors fighting wars. I was the commander in charge, the Heda, and my sister was my second. Anyway, we used to paint ourselves fake tattoos to make us look badass… let me tell you our mother grew very tired of the ink and the charcoal across our faces. As soon as I turned eighteen, my sister took me to Gustus and gifted me with the tattoo.

So, this is where I spend my days and years, in this small village in the middle of a city - aha! This is my stop… see that house with a blue door? Well, let say my wife (ex-wife) thought that it would look artistic. Costia. My sweetheart from High School, we were meant to be, you know?

> _“I’m sorry, Lexa, it’s not you, it’s me. I don’t know who I am anymore” she said, avowing eye contact._
> 
> _“_ _What do you mean?” -I blame myself for this answer, ok? Not one of my finest moment I must admit, feeling like Justin Bieber. God help me. I know you all might been thinking, ‘seriously that’s the best you got, mate? The lady is breaking up with you with a classic move!!’ But, let me tell you something, the best and smartest answers always come after the argument. In the meantime, you just stare there._
> 
> _“I’ve been thinking and I don’t believe this is for me…” Confusion all over my face._
> 
> _“You mean marriage? We been married for a year in a half and before that we were girlfriends for years” I said, trying to talk her into some sense._
> 
> _“I mean being with a women… Maybe, it was a phase? I don’t think I am really into women, you know? You are wonderful and deserve something better. Goodbye, Lexa”. Then, took two suitcase she had on the closet and exited the house._

Let me tell you, something folks, you don’t spend six years eating pussy and get the say it was a phase. Dear, a phase is one stand night, a week, hell maybe a couple months, but more than a half of a decade? Uh, uh… A few months later, I found that she actually left me for a man named John Murphy, who looked like Liam Hemsworth, only even more handsome… And just like that, I was left behind with a blue-doored house full of memories. The only blue door in the neighborhood. God, I hate blue.

And now I lead a strange half-life with a lodger called…

“Raaaaaven!”.

A petit brunette with hazel eyes is piercing a toaster with some much anger I am afraid the bread is going to burn. She's wearing shorts and a bra, just woke up, I assume. “Need help!!!!” she yelled. I clearly could sense the distress in her voice. Still, I decided to be a bit cheeky, “Can somebody call 911, Raven Reyes needs help and she is willing to ask for it!!” If looks could kill, I’d be dead now. But I don’t care, I am certainly enjoying the moment.

“It is important, and you know, even genius needs to ask for help some times, a very few, to be honest. Anyway, admitting you need help is the first step” she defended herself so I put my best ‘this is serious’ face and added, “Is this important in comparison to, let’s say, marine pollution or Brexit?”

“You really need to stop watching so many documental about marine animals, pollution, the end of the world… Calm your ass, commander,— do you remember the chick from my office? Brunette, light eyes and a body to go to war?” she said with excited little eyes. As you can see, she has a clear set of priorities. “Anyway, Janine and I are going out on a date and I want to be sure I’ve picked the right t-shirt”.

“What are the choices?" I asked, “Well, wait a second…" she childishly ran upstairs to get the clothes and quickly come back, "this is the first one.”

The first choice was a white t-shirt with a horrible looking clown holding a knife and covered in blood. WTF, Raven? I think my face really let her know my opinion, so she moved and changed to a second black t-shirt, with a large hook, saying, ‘wanna hook up’. “Cool, huh?” she bragged, “well, she might think you don’t have true love on your mind” I replied. “These tks — love is overrated. Look at you, all nerdy, surrounded by romantic books and shit and you haven’t been laid in… forever” she shoved her hands frantically. After a pause. “You know? You might be right, I think the one with Captain Hook is perfect. “YES! I knew it. Thanks. Wish me luck, no that I need it but, for good measure” and before I can wish her good luck she demolished a toast and vanished.

Ok. I feel I need to introduce her. That little specimen called Raven Reyes came to my life after my so dear ex-wife ran away. Well, the truth is, after a few months of mopping, my sister lost the little patience she has and forced me to look for a roommate in order to split the expenses. I can’t say we connected from day one because, to be honest, it was something closer to ‘Uh, uh, that crazy bitch ain’t living with me’. But, after a lot of thinking - and pressure from Anya- I agreed. Strangely one of my best decision. She is crazy, but despite the madness, Raven brings to my life, I’ve realise she also brings in sympathy and honesty. Something I really craved and needed at that time and have learned to really appreciate in my life.

<https://www.pinterest.com/pin/518899188287401232/>


	2. You belong in jail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa clumsy Woods meets Clarke sassy Griffin.

Chapter II: You belong in jail

And so it was just another Tuesday on my way to work, little suspecting that this was the day which would change my life forever. I arrived at _Polis Bookshop_ , a small unpretentious store I opened when I finished college. It is a small shop, bookshelves everywhere, with little secret bits around corners with even more books. The walls were covered with quotes from classics or just my favourites books. It was quite personal, a piece of heaven for those who loved to read.

Lincoln, the only employee, was waiting enthusiastically at the counter. He is tall, has dark skin and a bold head. Another teddy bear. He is the reason _O_ left the military life and settle here. They’ve been together for the last 6 years.

“Classic. Absolutely classic. Profit from major sales push minus-- aaahjfbakasfbsjf. Hate Mondays” I cried and made a little pout. Lincoln chuckled softly and said, “Todays Tuesday," and then added “hey, shall I go get a cappuccino? Easy the pain.” he knew my love for coffee could make anything better. “Yes. Better enjoy the taste of coffee while I can afford it” I said.

“Be right back!” he saluted and bolted out the door — as he did a woman walked in. I only glimpsed a shadow of blond and after I methodically welcomed her I kept working without spare another glance. After a few minutes, I looked up casually. “Can I help you?” she turned slightly to me and I swear hell froze over. Big baby blue eyes looked at me with a shy smile and responded, “No, thanks. I’ll just look around”. Holly shit, Woods, control yourself, she is the most beautiful women you've ever seen. You big gay self starts to panic and seriously you can’t think straight (you are too gay to say that, Lexa). After a few minutes, it seems your brain decides to collaborate. Gosh… Divine. Uhm... She looks familiar. Maybe a friend of a friend? Well, she certainly could be the double of... Uh…. no…. God, she really looks like… NO.

It can’t be. Shit, shit, she looks exactly like Clarke Griffin!! Is this Clarke Griffin? Impossible. Clarke Griffin double?! A cousin, perhaps? The biggest movie star in the world who has London wearing her face in a spaceship called The Ark in every single bus, ban, magazine? Nah. I mean, no. You tried to peek again and, yep. You are not being subtle like AT ALL. But, what the hell, she really was Clarke Griffin. You can panic. Go ahead. It’s fine, my small little bean. Clarke Griffin. The goddess was in your bookshop. She wandered over the shelf and picks out a smart coffee table book.

“That book’s really not good — just in case, you know, browsing turned to buy. You’d be wasting your money” like she has economic issues, sure, Lexa. “Really?” The actress stopped to really look at you like giving you her attention. Blue meets green. She stared with a small grin and seemed to ponder the new information for a bit.

“Yes. This one though is very good.” I picked a book from the counter and walked toward her, “ I think the man who wrote it has a slight idea of what he is writing about. I mean, if you are going to talk about astronomy, it might help perhaps to have some studies about that. There’s also a very amusing collection of photos”. Ok, Lexa, you need to stop rambling like now. The goddess tilted her head and frowned like a lost-cute puppy.

“Thanks. I’ll think about it.” We locked our eyes again for a few seconds when suddenly a small noise caught my attention. I spied something off on the small TV monitor beside me. “If you could just give me a second”. I turned around and moved to the back of the shop, somehow I know she followed me with her eyes; then, I approached a man slightly ill-fitting clothes.

“Excuse me”. The man looks at me and moved his chin as a response. “Bad news, mate. We’ve got a security camera in this bit of the shop and so I saw you put a book down your trousers”. He looked at me suspiciously like I am the one who’s been caught and spatted, “What book!? I haven’t got a book down my trousers." I sigh, “Ok, right — well, then we have something of an impasse. I tell you what — I’ll call the police and… If I’m wrong about the whole book-down-the-trousers scenario, I really apologise."

He looked a bit back up, “Okay, — what if I did have a book down my trousers? Hypothetically speaking, of course.” the nerves, “Well, ideally, when I went back to the desk, you’d remove it, and either wipe it and put it back, or buy it”. I returned to the desk and by the monitor, I can see the thief is returning the book to the shelves. Clarke, who has observed all this, was quietly looking at another book on the counter.

“Sorry about that…”

“No worries”, she said with a very chill American accent and then she elaborated, “It’s fine. I was going to steal one myself but now I’ve changed my mind. I definitely won’t have space down my trousers, so, abort the mission, I suppose. Uhm… Besides, signed by the author, I see.” That is the longest sentence she has said and you can hear her accent slips and sounds like… Australian? I suit her. I remember watching a couple of her works and always thought she was American. I can’t really understand why she switches the accents, her raspy voice sounds much sexier with her Aussie accent. You are staring, idiot, save the conversation quickly, “ Uh, yeah, I mean, we couldn’t stop him. If you can find an unsigned copy, it’s worth an absolute fortune.” she smiled, like a real smile that reaches her eyes. Suave, Woods. And all of a sudden, the thief is there.

“Excuse me” he interrupted, “Yes?” Clarke replied in a very neutral tone. “Can I have your autograph?” she politely smiled and said “What’s your name?”, “Quint”. She signed his scruffy piece of paper and since he couldn't guess what was saying he asked, “What does it say?” Clarke smiled and stated, “Well, that’s my signature — and above, it says ‘Dear Quint — you belong in jail.’” He grinned goofily, “Nice. Would you like my phone number?” Really Lexa was the thief having more game than you? Luckily for your ego, Clarke saved the day and said, “Tempting but… no, thank you”. Awkward pause before Quint nodded and left the bookshop.

She handed me the books and reached for her wallet to pay. I realised she was buying the book a strongly recommended not to, I feel like an idiot. “Oh, right, on second thoughts maybe it wasn’t that bad. Actually — it’s a sort of masterpiece really. A very few books can provide you with the very real story of the secret project from NASA about aliens living in the Moon these days. And I’ll throw in one of these about coffee shops in Europe for free” Ok, now is a perfect moment to shut up that big mouth of you, Woods, you are digging your own grave and she is, well, she is there looking at you, in a very intense way with those eyes, Jesus, this is so embarrassingly. So I keep rambling, “ Very useful if you have the chance to travel around Europe, coffee in Firenze, coffee in Budapest, coffee in Sofia, coffee in Seville… that sort of things”. Stop saying the word ‘coffee’. She looked at me with a slight smile and simply said “Thanks” and left.

She is out of my life forever. Clarke Griffin was here, and now she is not. OH MY GOD! Seconds later, Lincoln is back.

* * *

“Line took forever. Cappuccino as ordered, Heda” he said with a warm smile, “Thanks. I don’t think you’ll ever guess who was just in here”

“Who? Someone famous?” But, my innate natural English discretion took over, “No. No one — no one."

“Would be exciting if someone famous did come into the shop though, wouldn’t it? Do you know — this is pretty incredible actually — I once saw Ed Sheeran. Or at least I think it was him. It might have been that actor Turin?”. This man can be funny sometimes.

“You mean Tudyk?” I helped.

He snapped his fingers, “That’s right… Tudyk!!”

“You know, Linc, Ed Sheeran doesn’t look anything like Alan Tudyk” I smiled, “Well… he was quite a long way away, so it could have been neither of them, really”. We laugh together with the complicity shared along the years of friendship. “You know what, I fancy an orange juice — let’s go crazy. I’ll go this time”.

Lincoln was right, the lines during lunch time are insane.

So, after 15 minutes and a quick chat with Harper, the barista, I collect the drinks and return to the bookshop. I was distracted, thinking about what a crazy day has been. Clarke Griffin is even prettier in real life. Like, so pretty it hurts. I always believe that famous people only look good thank to the small army they have behind (fancy clothes, make up artist, hairdresser, etc.), I mean who wouldn’t look insanely good with professionals making sure you look insanely good? But, Clarke Griffin was definitely something else. She was barely wearing makeup, her hair was in a soft ponytail with some wild locks, and she wears boyfriend light jeans, white Converse and a grey plain shirt. She could be the girl next door. Almost. Don’t be fooled, she was one of the “it girl” and highest-paid actress in Hollywood of the moment. After the Oscar she won two years ago, directors and producers fight each other to have her on their films. But also, Clarke Griffin was the ambassador of several campaigns such as UNICEF, UN Women Goodwill, LGBT, like The Trevor Project, etc. What is more, she was co-owner of a school in Thailand for children who can afford to go to school. How can I know all that about her? Well, while I really enjoy her work, I am not a great fan — my Instagram sucks and I haven’t figure out how Twitter works yet. But, my sister… well, my sister, she was -is- really crazy about Clarke Griffin. So, since our years in college, I’ve been suffering all the random comments, gossip, interviews around the actress.

Now that I met her, I must admit she’s not only breathtaking but also down to earth and polite. I think I might have a little crush. I won’t see the end of this with my sister. Anyway, I was completely lost in my thought when I turned the corner and bumped straight into … Clarke. The orange juice, in its foam cup, flies. It soaks the blonde. Oh crap.

“Fuck!” she spatted on me.

“I am soo sorry, oh God. Here, let me help” I quickly grabbed some paper napkins and started to clean it off — getting far toooo near her breasts in the panic of it…

“What the hell are you doing?!” I jumped back and with wide eyes, “Nothing, nothing… I am so sorry, I wasn’t, I mean, I didn’t mean to… I didn’t see your breasts” She looked at me comically, like saying ‘really, like for real?’. You are useless, Lexa, useless! “I mean, yes, I saw your breasts, not that I was looking at them, uh, I’m not a perv, they were just there….” Shit, shit, shit… “They are nice, though, oh I meant normal… Like it was not my intention. At all. This is coming out completely the wrong way, believe me, I am not trying to make you uncomfortable; also I know I am failing my purpose. Look… uhh… I live just over the street — you could get cleaned up. And I am not trying to invite you to my house to take some kind of advantage over you. I mean, I am not an idiot, you are you and I’m just me and…” My face is red like a big giant tomato, “… So, I just meant, you can clean or change without being harassed in a public place. Well, I least not more harassed you are feeling with my very poor choice of words” I scoffed. She looks in disbelieve and amusement.

“Okay. So what does ‘just over the street’ means — give it to me in yards” she commanded.

“I’m not sure, eighteen yards, perhaps? That’s my house there”, and I pointed to the blue door. She looked down at her now ruined t-shirt. Then she looked up at me and agreed. Our way to the house is a bit awkward. After exactly thirty seconds later - the hardest thirty seconds of my life- we arrived at the door and I opened and invited her in. Now I realized that she was carrying several stylish bags and, perhaps, I should have offered a hand. Way to go, Woods.

* * *

“Come on in, please. I’ll just…”, I started running in further to hopefully try to clean the mess Raven left. I kicked old shoes under the stairs, empty boxes of pizza… She is still quiet. Since she seemed distracted, I took another glance to her, up-down. The ruined t-shirt is soaked and cling to her body. It shows a beautiful and average large breast. Eyes up, dammit! If she didn’t see you as a perv before, now you are certainly one. Luckily for you, the blonde was still engrossed looking around with her curious eyes. Two of my favourite things to do during my leisure time, aside from reading, obviously, is watching movies and visiting museums. I have a soft spot for paintings, so I’ve decorated the house with several paints, prints and film’s posters. I think she approves according to the small smile and cute eyes she has while walking toward the corridor and the living room.

“ It’s not tidy, I fear.” Another small smile. Talkative girl, I see. I am not going to charge you anything! “The bathroom is right at the top of the stairs and you can find clean towels in the cabinet”. She headed upstairs after another small smile and a polite nod. Since I am a lady, I don’t, nope, nope, stare at her ass, I distracted myself cleaning frantically. It worked. After a few minutes, I hear Clarke’s feet on the stairs. She walks down, wearing a casual sleeveless floral spaghetti strap with a V neck dress that should be illegal. No. Actually, I am sure that’s illegal in the least fifty countries including the UK. Her hair is up in a lazy bun and she has lost the bit of make up she was wearing. I am absolutely dazzled by the sight of her. Now I fully understand what Frankie Valli and the 4 Seasons sing, ‘I can’t take my eyes off you’.

“ Would you like a cup of tea before you go?” I tried, not completely sure if I am just being polite o selfish with the idea of letting her go that soon. “No, thanks” “Coffee?” I tried again. She shook her head and smile shyly. Please just marry me and have babies, ok?, “Orange juice — probably not, uh? Something to eat, perhaps, some fruit, yoghurt?” again, “Really, no, thanks”, she answered. “Do you always say ‘no’ to everything?” I smirked.

Pause. Maybe I went too far. She looks at me and finally gives me a cheeky smirk, “No… I better be going. Thanks for your help”.

“You are welcome and, may I also say…” God, I am so not a smooth-talking woman, “take my one chance to say it. After you’ve read that terrible book, you’re certainly not going to be coming back to the shop. Let’s be honest (I add for good measure), I am sure I can blame the book and not my clumsiness.” I laugh and she smiles. “Thank you” I guided her toward the door. In a slightly awkward moment, we shake hands and I burble “Nice to meet you. Surreal but nice”. Then she is gone.

‘Surreal but nice?’ What was I thinking? I shook my head in horror and went back along the corridor in silence. There’s a knock on the door, “Coming” I opened the door and it’s her.

“Oh, hi. Forget something?” I asked, “Yep, I forgot my bags” I ran to the kitchen and picked up the forgotten shopping bags. Then returned and handed them to her. For the tenth time in that day, we stand in an awkward situation breaking the personal space that every British need. Third time saying goodbye. Please, Andrea Bocelli has nothing on me. A strange feeling of intimacy. Our eyes are locked and I can really find in them some kind of familiarity. Suddenly she leans forward and kisses me. It’s a chaste quick kiss and it took my brain a few seconds to catch up and realise what is happening. Oh, oh, oh… Only then, I replied to the kiss and lift my hand to her elbow. I am not breathing but I think my lips are moving gently, I least I hope so. Then we separated. Our eyes are staring intensely and she looks slowly to my lips while catching her lips between her teeth and…

Suddenly there is a clicking in the lock and Raven burst like a bull inside. She yells ‘hi’ and without sparing a glance started running toward the kitchen saying “I am just going to go to the kitchen to get some food — I am starving… and, oh! Then I am going to tell you a story about how I made my boss computer went boom this morning. It was awesome, not sure if I still have a job…” she kept mumbling while making herself a sandwich completely oblivious to the couple.

“Probably best not tell anyone about this” Clarke interrupted my thoughts and even though I feel a small pan of pain I recovered quickly, “Right. Yep. No one. I mean, I’ll tell myself sometimes but.. don’t worry - I won’t believe it.” Clarke gave me a sweet smile and looked down a bit embarrassed.

My ears are pink, I know but I’ve got the feeling I am not the only one affected by the kiss we just shared. “Bye”. And she leaves with a touch of my hand.

Raven uses exactly that moment to come out of the kitchen, eating something white out of a jar with a spoon. “You know, there’s something wrong with this yoghurt,” she said, “It’s not yoghurt, genius, it’s mayonnaise” I fired back annoyed for the fact that a woman like Clarke has kissed me and I won’t see her again in my life. “Well, there you go” she shrugged while taking another big spoonful - “hey! Remember we have a movie night tonight, also, I am margaritas!”

* * *

The rest of the day goes unnoticed and soon enough I’m on my way home with a few bags from the store. Raven is already waiting on the couch. Once the drinks are ready, we turn the lights off and log in Netflix. Actually, we discuss for about twenty minutes about HBO or Netflix, but anyway. It’s Raven turn to pick a movie and - of course, what are the chances - she chose a ‘You’ve got an e-mail’, a rom-com played by Clarke Griffin. It set about a librarian - Clarke- who lives in New York and has friendship via e-mail with the CEO of a publishing house. Despite the former one is wiping out small bookshops such Clark’s, they can’t help falling in love. Something like that, God, I’m awful when I come to make summaries. Anyhow, I totally root with Clarke because she is the owner of a small bookshop, just like me, and It has nothing to do with the fact that she is also beautiful or that the guy is, obviously, a man. Don’t take me wrong. I absolutely love rom-com with straight couples - they are the 99%- but I would be nice FOR ONCE, a good romantic comedy between two-man o two women, like ‘Imagine you & me’. Did I say I love rom-com? Well, rom-com + gay relationship = cheesy Lexa happy. Can you believe I am having this internal conversation while watching Clarke in Central Park? I don’t even know what the characters are talking about. So smitten.

The following days were pretty quiet. It was Friday and ready to go home after work. I found Raven fixing a cup of tea in the kitchen. “What are you wearing, Raven?”, “Let’s say is the result of a combination of factors, really. No clean clothes” she said.

“You know, it will always be like that if you don’t take your precious time to do laundry, right?” I chuckled at the horrified face she gave me. “You know I can’t do laundry here because your washing machine is crazy and hates me, so I have to wait until you grow tired of my dirty clothes all over the house and wash them too. You don’t do my laundry because you avoid spoil me. It’s a vicious circle. Nevermind, I was rooting around your things and found this t-shirt, still can’t believe you have pink t-shirts. And you know what? I also found this goggles! There’s something wrong with them, I can’t see very well” I looked at her, “they are prescription goggles, so I could see all the fishes properly during my holidays. jasper recommended me when we all went to Mallorca last year.”

After a comfortable silence, I asked her, “Hey, any messages? I am expecting a call to arrange an appointment for the doctor.”

“Yeah, I wrote a couple down”

“Two? That’s it?” I waited impatiently. “Do you want me to write down all your messages and actually remember to tell you? I am a genius, commander, my brain needs to make little boxes in order to retain all the information” I swear it to God I hate her, “So, about the messages, you didn’t write down, can you remember something?” I asked while closing my eyes in exasperation.

“Let’s me see — aha… Nope. The box is completely gone. Oh no, wait. There was — one from mummy Indra, something about don’t forget lunch next Sunday” she smiled fondly at the idea of getting leftovers. “Right. No one else?” I tried again. “Nope… Absolutely not. Though if we’re going for this obsessive ‘ you need to write down all the message’ kind of days - some American girl called a few days ago”. I freeze. Oh shit. Oh shit. “What did she say?” I ask pretending to be very calm. “Well… it was kind of bizarre. She said ‘hi — it’s Clarke — call me at the Ritz’ and then she gave a completely different name. Some crazy chick you date, my friend.”

“Can you remember the name she gave you?” I felt like crying. 

“Absolutely no idea. Remembering one name’s hard enough. Where are you going?” She asked as a stood, grabbed my phone and walk toward my room. “I need to make a few calls, go eat some mayo.”

“Bitch, I am not picking more messages for you!!!” Raven replied defensively. 

Once I looked on the internet the phone number of the hotel, I wish for some luck.

“Good afternoon, thank you for calling The Ritz, my name is Monty Green. How may I assist you?”

“Good afternoon, hi. My name is Lexa. I’ve received a message from Clarke Griffin asking me to give her a call at this hotel” I can’t sound more fake, suspicious or awkward.

“I am sorry, ma'am, we don’t have anyone of the name here” the man politely replied.

“No, that’s right — I know that. She said she’s using another name, but the problem is she left the message to my roommate, which was a serious mistake because let me tell you that women can build a rocket from scratch, but she is unable to retain a simple name. Imagine the stupidest person you’ve ever met and then double it —“ I can see that Monty guy rolling his eyes.

“Try Flintstoneeeeee” Raven yelled from the living room.

“Does ‘Flintstone’ mean anything to you?” I tried. “I’ll put you right through, ma'am”. YES. Oh, my God. OH MY GOD.

Hello Clarke. Hi Clarke. Clarke! Clarke is that you? Claaaarke. What a surprise, Clarke. Heyyyyy. I wasn't expecting you, Clarke. Klark?

While I am in the middle of my little show to sounds very normal and chill I heard a small chuckle and a soft ‘Hi’. I choke with my saliva and started coughing. Bloody hell, so much for chill.

“Oh, hi. It’s Lexa Woods. We, uh, ahm — I work in Polis bookshop" in case you know a few Lexa Woods who work in bookshops. Thank you very much.

“Hey, you played it pretty cool here, uh, waiting for three days to return the call,” she said with a smile I can’t see but definitely hear.

“Yes. According to Siri, I had to wait 72 hours to court the lady” Where the hell that comes from, Casanova?! Clarke is quite waiting on a full response so I tried again, “no, I’ve never played anything cool in my entire life. It’s just, my roommate, who I will stab on her sleep tonight, never gave me your message." she simply added, “Oh — Okay”.

OK. Lexa here goes nothing, “Perhaps, I could drop for a cup of tea or something?” A pause of two minutes. Ok, two seconds. “Unfortunately, things around here are going pretty busy today, but we can try anyway. How about four o’clock? is that a good time for you?” the blonde asked.

Good? That wouldn’t be good. That’s perfect. Yes. Yes. Yes. I made a little dance around my room and suddenly remember I still had to give her an answer “Sure. Yeah. Whatever floats your fancy” Smooth. It’s a date!! Sort of. Double fist pump like a champ.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language, so please be kind. Sorry for any mistake. Nevertheless, I really hope to receive opinions and constructive criticism.  
> Please feel free to drop kudos and comments to let me know what do you think about the story! Thanks!


	3. The Botanical Register

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa's first 'date'. 
> 
> “I was wondering — whether you ever thought of having more… scenes in open field or gardens in it?”
> 
> “Ahm… well, we would have loved to. It was kind of difficult, obviously, since, well, the movie is being set in space”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was recommended to contact a proofreader. Sadly, my knowledge of this website is quite limited. It would be awesome if you knew someone or if you volunteer yourself to do it, you can share the info with me in the comments below. In that way, the story would be better written and more enjoyable. Thanks in advance!
> 
> I've decided to switch to the present tense in this chapter. I'm still not sure at all which way I like more, so, since I've seen both ways here, I wanted to see how with present tense looks.

Chapter III: The Botanical Register

After a solid hour trying different clothes, I decided to FaceTime Anya to make sure my outfit is perfect.

“Well, well, well… To what do I owe the pleasure? The mighty Heda, calling me, a mere mortal.” my sister salutes as soon she picks the phone, I can see she is still at her office. Anya works in the City since last year as a prosecutor. It was her dream since she was a small kid. In second grade, one of her classmates, Dax pushed and made fun of one of her best friends, Madi, since Dax’s father had a lot of money and made regular donations, the school decided to look the other way. Anya swore herself that she will try to help those who can’t stand by their own feet. Clearly, the new job takes a toll on her personal life, spending most of the time working at the office, but It doesn’t matter to her because she absolutely loves what she does. Truth is I am very proud of my sister, however, I’ll take the compliment with me to the grave. She already thinks the sun rises from her ass.

So I decided to play nice, for now… “Hello to you too, sis. I see your workaholism still gets the best of you. Listen, I have no time to spare, I need you to give me your opinion about an outfit.”

“Awww… the Commander has a date!!! Who is she? Do I know her? Is she hot? Is she a ‘she’, isn’t it? Hahaha, who am I kidding? Do you want me to threaten her? Because I can and I will.”

“Calm down, Anh, It’s nothing. I mean it’s something but she’s cool — just don’t make it a big deal and answer about the outfit, please, I’ll let you interrogate me next time.” I pledge but she’s Anya so, “You having a date is a big deal, Lexa, it’s being, and I quote the old lady from Titanic, 84 years.” I started to whine a bit and pout - works like charm- and she turns her head from the MacBook she kept tying during the conversation.

“Let’s see… You should wear tight fit jeans, the navy one or the black one, we need to show up your fantastic ass. A blouse o a jersey, whatever you fancy today. I personally like the green button-up blouse or the thin merlot jersey. Short boots or Converse. With the former one, you can cover almost any colour. Light makeup and please don’t use the ‘papaw’ thing you’re obsessed with to hydrate your lips, today let’s use some nice lipstick.”

“Okay. I’m choosing black tight jeans, a blouse, and boots. I need something fancy since I don’t know what I’m expecting. Thanks Any, I’ll let you know. Bye!” I hang the call before she can’t keep asking questions. I will suffer the third degree tomorrow.

* * *

I approach the lift with a small bouquet of sunflowers. Next to me another man. He looks on the sly and when I reach my floor - the same one he is going- he starts walking behind me. Room 703. I stop and so does he. I point to the number and ask, “Are you sure…?” “Oh, yes. That’s the one.” He knocks and I wait.

A well-tailored girl opens the door, “Hello, I’m Charlotte. Sorry —-we are running a bit late today. Here are the press kits, with info, pics, and everything related to production you need to know.” She says with an American accent and professional smile. A few seconds later, the girl takes us to a big room with several coffee tables and sofas. There are a few journalists waiting. Without warning, Charlotte turns to me and asks, “What did you think of the film?” The man that arrived with me - a journalist I assume- sees my silence as a cue for him to start, “Marvellous. Oscar-winning stuff.” then, both turn to me and wordlessly ask for my opinion.

“I agree.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t get what magazines you’re from?”

“Oh, it’s fine. This is Wells Jaha from ‘Time Out’.”

I panic when I realize: one, I’m not quite sure what it’s going on in here; two: who’s this person and where is Clarke and three, a magazine? Think fast! I pry at the coffee table where you can see a handful of old magazines and choose the first one that catches me eyes, “I am Lexa Woods from ‘The Botanical Register.’” Wait, what?!

“Okay… uhhh, take a seat and I’ll check how we are going with the schedule. Thanks.”

“You’ve brought her flowers?” he politely asks and, although he does not seems to be judging me, I can see I certainly have a great gift getting into strange situations. So, I try to cover-up.

“No, they’re… for my grandmother. She is at the hospital. It’s quite close to the hotel so I decided I’d kill two birds with one stone.” You’re getting so good at this. Thank you. Next. “Oh, I’m sorry. Which hospital?” Pause. I was this close to making it. So close. “Do you mind me not saying — it’s something recent, I can’t think about it, right now, I’m very close to my grandmother?” I say. “Oh sure, sorry. I — “

“Mrs Woods?” Charlotte peeks from the door. Saved by the bell. Bye Jaha!

We walk quickly through a corridor where I can see and hear flashes, people talking, catering, etc. Charlotte leads me to a door, knocks and adds, “You’ve got five minutes” and leaves. Here I go.

* * *

There is Clarke. Framed in the window. The light - the bare light London can manage anyway- shines around the actress making her appear sent from heaven. She is wearing a pretty navy blue cocktail dress with a white-trimmed point collar and white high heels. Legs for days. The light make up is focused on her eyes and lips and I think I’m pregnant. She turns to me and gives me a soft smile and a shy ‘hi’. Her eyes… God damn is so bright and so blue I can’t stop staring at them.

“I brought these…” -hand the bouquet- “but clearly I…” she quickly interrupts me and says, “Oh no, no, these are great. I love them. Thanks” she picks the bouquet and smells them as the room is not full of flowers. More than maybe thirty spectacular bouquets. No, that I am complaining. I LOVE flowers. My friends are always making fun of my obsession with candles and flowers. Back off fuckers, and leave me alone with my flowers and my candles.

A fair amount of tension is built between us, “Sorry again about no ringing back. The whole two-names concept was totally too much for my flatmate” I say trying to ease up the tension. She giggles a bit and explains to me, “No, it’s a stupid privacy thing. I always choose a cartoon character — last time out, I was Jessie from Toy Story.”

At which moment, a lady, around fifty enters the room. She is in good shape and has a sharp smile and sharper hazel eyes. Her features are familiar. “Good afternoon, I am Abigail Griffin, Ms Griffin’s agent. Is everything okay?” Her voice is grave and really authoritative. Mrs Griffin starts consulting a list and double-check before asking me “Uh… and you are from… ‘The Botanical Register’ magazine?” I simply nod.

Clarke decides to use this moment to be cheeky, “Is that so?” she asks with an amused tone. I simply shrug my shoulders. Mrs Griffin settles in a little desk in the corner to take some notes. I see I have no choice but to play my part so we sit in chairs opposite each other.

“So, congratulations on your new film. It’s… great. Fantastic movie. Oscar stuff-thing-win” - was that the thing the guy from outside said? I can be professional too, bitch please- “I was wondering — whether you ever thought of having more… scenes in open field or gardens in it?” I inquire.

God, I can see in those little eyes she is having so much fun, “Ahm… well, we would have loved to. It was kind of difficult, obviously, since, well, the movie is being set in space” she says with raised eyes-brows and a sweet smile. Great. “Obviously. Very difficult” I add with a wide smile. For the corner of my eyes, I can see Mrs Griffin is stealing glances at me with a confused face. After a few seconds, she stands up and leaves the room.

“I’m sorry! I arrived outside and they literally threw this package into my hand and I didn’t know what to do. On top of that, I tend to panic when, well, when a famous actress invites me to come over and I wasn’t ready to all the circus outside.” I say with wide eyes and moving frantically my hands from side to side.

She gives me a nervous laugh and tries to apologize, “No! It’s my fault, I thought this would all be over by the time we had our uh — meeting. I just wanted to apologize for the kissing thing” she is also moving the hands and pacing around the room. Clarke Griffin has lost her cool. That’s nice for a change. So I’m leaving her in her little ramble-pacing speech, “I seriously don’t know what got into me. I can assure you I am not that kind of person and… I just wanted to make sure we were fine - no that there is a ‘we’ I mean, ‘us’ uh, you were fine, we were fine as individuals, with, well, with what happened” eyes shut and blushed cheeks. My favourite Clarke (so far them…).

“I am absolutely fine about it.” Seeing her a bit nervous has to give me some courage — knowing that both of us freak a bit around each other. Mrs Griffin re-enters the room. So much for privacy.

“Please, Ms Woods, do remember that Ms Griffin is also keen to talk about her two incoming projects. One of them, produced by the BBC and filmed in Vancouver .” I make a fake smile and play my part again, “Oh, that’s exciting. Excellent! Any chance we see you gardening or walking around outdoors sets? Our readers are equally intrigued?”

“It takes place on a submarine,” Clarke says. What the hell is your problem with movies filmed on the freaking ground I want to yell?

“Yes. Right. But If there were outdoors film sets, and you could have the chance to work on them, like for instance a day off the submarine, would you be interested in a character who performs outdoor activities such gardening or… would you be getting a stunt gardener person double sort of thing?” At this point in the conversation, I have lost all hope in maintaining integrity. I am terrible with improvisations, ok? Moreover, I’m an organized human being. When my friends want to make fun of me they called me squid or square. The first one has nothing to do with my tiny obsession with those majestic creatures and the second one, well.

Mrs Griffin exits the room.

“I’m just a complete idiot. Sorry. Can you please pick your next project in an apocalyptic world where you have to survive on the ground with no technology? Since it seems that’s the only chance you’ll be in the middle of a forest. I’m awful. You don’t understand this sort of thing only happens in dreams. Good dreams, I mean.”

“And what happens next in the dream” Clarke challenges me.

“Well, I suppose in a dream-dream scenario. My character would have the courage to walk across and kiss the girl o ask her on a date…” while I was rambling, she has taken a few steps toward me and… Mrs Griffin enters and she takes again a few steps back. What the hell is wrong with people entering rooms when I am about to kiss the girl? Ok, no that. But close enough.

“Time’s up, I am afraid. Did you get what you wanted?” Uhm…

“Very nearly,” I say under my breath.

Clarke surprise both, me and Mrs Griffin by saying, “Ok, maybe we can spare a few minutes for the last question, shall we?” the agent slash mother nods and leaves the room.

Ok. It’s not or never and I shout “areyoubusytonight?”

“Yes” Oh.

We look at each other and once again green drowns in blue. Charlotte is back with another journalist and Clarke stands to shake my hand.

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Mss. Woods. Surreal but nice” she says.

“Thank you. You are The Botanical Register’s favourite actress. You and Alycia Debnam-Carey. Tied.”

* * *

I exit fairly despondent and head to the door. Wells, the journalist from Time’s Out awaits in the corridor with his cell phone. When he sees me, he came and asks “How was she?”

“Fabulous”

“Wait a minute — did she took your grandmother’s flowers??!”

I fake-gasp, “Yes. That bitch!”

I turn and leave but a few steps after that Charlotte intercepts, “If you’d like to come with me, we can continue the interviews with the rest of the cast.” Wait. What?

After two hours of awkward conversations and uncomfortable glances, it seems I am done for good and I can rush home to burn myself with the duvet like a burrito. A big sad burrito. A big sad gay burrito. A big sad gay forever single burrito. Ok, Lexa, stop, we get the idea.

Charlotte comes one more time, God is this woman spying on me or something? “Ms Woods, have you got a moment?”

“No” I whisper.

Despite she hears me, she makes sure I am following, once again, to another room. She knocks a door and waits for a ‘come in’. Then she is gone again. She is a fucking ninja! When I enter the room imagine my surprise when I see Clarke again, sitting on a couch showing a certain nervousness. We are alone again. No ninjas or mothers.

“Ahm… That thing I was doing tonight… I’m not doing it anymore”

“Excuse me?”

“I told them I had to spend the evening with an important Britain journalist” she bites her lip and avoids looking at me like a cute little girl who’s telling her bestie that she’s skipping school.

“Oh, really? Great. Perfect. Ahm… Cool. No”

“No?”

“No, no, no. Shit. Shittity… - it’s my sister’s birthday — shit — we’re meant to have a dinner” I cried. I. Can’t. Trust. The. Universe.

“Okay, fine.”

“No, I’m sure I can get out of it.” I’ll fake my death if necessary.

“No, I mean, If it’s fine with you, I can go, you know to be your date. Or sort of. Like a plus one” she has got up from the couch and shoves a hand through her hair.

“Do you want to be my date at my sister’s birthday party?” I repeat incredulously.

“If that’s all right…”

“Yes. Sure. My friend Bellamy is cooking and he, as opposed to his sister, is acknowledged to be the worst cook in the world, but you know, you can always hide the food in your purse” I smile.

“No worries”

“Great. Let me text you later the details.” We both have radiant smiles and stood there without knowing what to do next until Mrs Griffin makes it easy for us and enters the room and quickly asks Clarke to finish the meeting. It’s fine. I’ve got a date with Clarke Griffin.

Oh, God. A DATE WITH CLARKE GRIFFIN. Holy Guacamole!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, Lexa chose a botanic magazine because she is too out of the garden. Lame. I know.
> 
> Let me know what do you think about the chapter!


	4. The last brownie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Clarke have dinner with the gang. 
> 
> “Have you slept with her?" Raven asks with a small smirk.  
> “This is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.”  
> “‘No comment’ means ‘yes’” Bellamy adds.  
> “No, it doesn’t”  
> “Do you ever masturbate?”  
> “Definitely no comment. And by the way, ewww, Raven”  
> “See? No comment means ‘yes’” Bell says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people, a new chapter to make the week easier. I smell Saturday like a predator. My middle name is 'wine'. 
> 
> By the way, still searching for the proofreader. Some help, please?! Also, what the hell means 'beta' I've read many people saying that about their stories (and I'm not talking about the ABO fics). Like no edited? haha I told you guys I was soooo lost in this world, don't make fun of me. Peace and goodnight Siri.

Chapter IV: The last brownie

Clarke texted me to let me know we could meet at my sister’s place. I’ve decided to wait for her outside, so it’d be easier for her, hmmm… No, actually I was strongly preventing one of my friends to open the door and embarrass me. Anyway, I was waiting right in front of my sister’s main entrance flat. I chose to wear casual, after all, most of my friend was likely to be in sweatpants. So the winner was busted knee jeans in black, Adidas Original sneakers and a white basic t-shirt with a flannel around my waist. A walking cliché. Fuck them. Hair down with small intrinsic braids and a bit of makeup to make my eyes pop.

A few minutes before the time, Clarke came out from a black SUV giving me plenty of time to ogle her. The blonde goes with another plain white t-shirt, a black casual blazer, the light faded blue jeans with ankle length and black classic Vans. She was casual yet so sexy and elegant. Her hair was down in a mass of blonde curls. She peeks a look around looking for familiar eyes, we found each other and smiled. As soon she approached I totally started to lose my cool. C’mon, Woods, you can do better. You got a date with a goddess, just don’t freak.

“Hi,” Clarke says, waving a hand, “Thanks for inv —“ I stick harshly my hand for a handshake. Way too keen. She is a little surprised but replies with a firm handshake.

“I am sorry. I am far too nervous and I can’t stop doing stupid things.” I try to save, but she can sense my nervousness and grading my forehand measures me, “Oh, no worries. You don’t need to be nervous, you know? I am the one who’s having dinner with the family on the first date.” Ok. I know I have NO GAME, but I am pretty sure Clarke is flirting with me, isn’t she?

“That’s precisely because you don’t know my friends or my sister. I have reasons to be terrified. Anyway, I feel like I really need to warn you, my sister might be a bit of a fan of your work. The others might recognise you, as well, but won’t be as passionate as my sister” she stays there and let me talk nonsense with a warm smile. When I stop my ramp and look at her to see the reaction she laughs, I smile goofily and forget my name, and says “No worries. Really. Calm down, Lex. It’s always such a pleasure to meet fans and people who appreciate my work. Besides, it’s her birthday, what a hell of a present you are giving her, uh? Come on inside, I don’t want to destroy the British's reputation about being always on time.”

“Early is on time, on time is late and late is unacceptable” I quote with a toothy grin.

“God, you are such a nerd” and I can’t help to blushed.

We head to the door and enter. Here we go. So God helps me. 

* * *

“Squid?! is that you?” Anya yells from God knows.

Echo is the first one to approaches us, “Hey, Heda, how are you?” she says after a quick hug. “I’m doing fine, Echo, thanks, how’s Bell treating you?” She smiles and pats my shoulder, “Let’s say it’s fine, I don’t want him to receive a punch from you. Sadly, you know he is cooking tonight, right? We won’t survive.” And now fully turning to Clarke, “…and who’s this?” Clarke has watched the exchange between Echo and me discretely. “This is Clarke, I invite her with a promise of a superb meal.” The girls shake hands and exchange the ‘nice meeting yous’. Echo continues, “Please come to the living room so you can introduce your friend to the rest of the group, we are enjoying some drinks.”

In order to make things easier, and since they are a few, I opt for a general introduction. So, once we enter the living room-kitchen I wait a couple seconds and command, “Ok, people, listen up, this is Clarke. Clarke this is people” she looks at me comically so I continue pointing at each of them, “Bell, tonight’s chef, Echo’s hubby, marvellous architect, he is a freak of Greek mythology; this is Octavia and Linc, she looks sweet but probably could kill you with pretty much anything; however, she won’t. Linc, her better half, works with me. Together they can give you cavities” -everybody laughs- “This one over there is Jasper, best chemistry professor Queen Mary University can afford. As badass as the guy from Breaking Bad. Ok no. But he is great. Raven, flatmate, you know her already she loves to make things go boom and eat pretty much anything, don’t be scare if she starts to mumble in Spanish; and last but not least…”

“Oh, bloody hell. FUCK!”

“Yep… and, that’s my sister, Anya.” I add without looking at the yell behind me.

As my sister enters the room and the rest of the group is saying ‘hi’ to Clarke, she drags me to the corner - actually like two feet away, but whatever - in disbelief. I stay waiting for her to process the information, but she just looks at me intensely. I think I broke her.

“Explain” 

“A cluster of coincidences”

“Clarke fucking Griffin ain’t a cluster of coincidences. She is a goddess. An 'It girl'. A Role model. An Awesome actress. Professional faking accents. A Gryffindor. A... Wait! Was with her the date from the other day?!” Anya angrily puffs.

“Yes,” I nod. Pause. The rest of the group is happily chatting and Anya is stealing glances to Clarke and then back to me. Like this is fucking Wimbledon. “Could you please explain to me, sister of mine, why you didn’t feel the necessity to inform your sister of such an event?”

“Well, if I’m being completely honest. I’m still processing the fact that well, 1: I met a fucking star from Hollywood, 2: she is bloody gorgeous and I can’t function around her, and — “ I think I’ll skip the kiss part, “ … 3: she agreed to come to a date with me, which turned to be, your birthday. Also, I wanted to tell you in person, because what are the chances? You wouldn’t have believed me!” She nods profusely at the last part, which offends me a bit, honestly.

“Anyway, I think you should go there and introduce yourself properly. Also, pretty please can you avoid to embarrass me tonight. I am begging you, Anya” she smugly grins, “I am serious. The one-lifetime card to be a good sister. I am cashing it, tonight. Let’s go there and behave.” I know she won’t but I guess I had to try.

Anya goes toward Clarke and shakes her hand, “Hello, sorry about before. I’m Anya, little squid, big sis. I’m going to pretend this is normal for a few minutes until my brain catches everything, ok?” -five seconds later- “… Ok. This is one of those key moments in life when I should act so cool — and I know eventually I am going to fail. I utterly adore you. Also, I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, objectively speaking, and I will snap one hundred pictures of you tonight” she finishes strangely calm and composed as she’s reciting a shopping list. Clarke smiles sweetly and gives her a hug after hands her a present. Anya is not a touchy person, but I can see, how she stiffness at first and then release her shoulders a bit, “It’s very nice to meet you, Anya. Thank you for having me in your birthday dinner.” Echo opens another bottle of wine and we start to make small talk for a few minutes. Bell, on the other hand, uses the time to overcook dinner.

“The guinea fowl is proving more complicated than expected” he huffs, “Why are you cooking guinea fowl? Jasper replies, “Don’t even ask” Echo says exasperatedly while dismissing the topic with a small wave. In the meantime, Raven and Bell push me to the corner. What is happening tonight with the corners?

“Have you slept with her?” Raven asks with a small smirk.

“This is a cheap question and the answer is, of course, no comment.”

“‘No comment’ means ‘yes’” Bellamy adds.

“No, it doesn’t”

“Do you ever masturbate?”

“Definitely no comment. And by the way, ewww, Raven”

“See? No comment means ‘yes’” Bell says.

Once they are seated on the table and enjoying the appetizers. Jasper tries, as usual, to woo Clarke. Well, he hits basically at any form with a vagina. “So, tell me Clarke — what do you do?” Here we go.

“I’m an actress”

“Uhm, are you? You defo look familiar” Echo maliciously adds to mock Jasper’s lack of knowledge.

"Yeah. I have one of those faces… it’s like you know me!!” Clarke laughs at her own joke.

The chemistry professor, however, missed the innuendo, “Splendid! I’m actually a professor, as Lexa said, but during my time as a student, I joined some plays… amateur stuff, as well. Always imagined it’s a pretty tough job. I mean the wages are a scandal, aren’t they?”

“Well, they can be,” Clarke says actually surprised of such a straight line of conversation.

“I have several friends — been in the business for decades and they are barely scraping by seven thousand a year. It’s not life. What sort of acting do you do?”

“I’ve been in a couple of TV shows but lately films mainly.”

“Man, that’s so cool. Did your movies go boom? And how’s the pay in movies? I mean, for instance, the last film you did, how much you made” Us. British are way too polite to ask that kind of questions, Raven, however, belongs to that 1%.

“Twenty millions of dollars,” she says calmly.

Bellamy quickly stands, “Wine, anyone?”

Clarke leans to me and asks where the restroom is, so I show her and quickly come back to the table where everyone is loudly whispering.

“What are you doing with Clarke Griffin??!!” Echo spats.

“Clarke Griffin??!” Jasper panics.

“Do you think they would need in her movies a stunt director? I can make things go boom”

“I am wondering how her daily diet is? Maybe she could come to the restaurant or like some pics on Instagram. I mean TonDC would be full of people”

“She seems sweet, not like Ed Sheeran”

“I’ve followed her career since the begging. She is a great actress. I’m going to ask her if she likes how Jason works. I bet she hates him.”

“Do you think she will like the guinea fowl?”

When she returned, however, my friends control themselves and don't make a lot of questions. As the food was enjoyed and the wine started to do its purpose, the dinner went very relaxed. I was really starting to ease up watching my friends happily chatting with Clarke, telling her embarrassing stories about me, mostly, teasing, joking, etc. It’s funny how it seems Clarke fits with the group like she’s been doing this for years, just like them.

“So, Clarke, what do you think of the guinea fowl?” Bellamy asks anxiously.

“It was quite good, actually” Clarke politely answer.

“I thought you said she was a great actress?” Raven jokes looking at Anya. Everyone included Clarke, cracked up.

* * *

After dinner, we sit around the coffee table to enjoy more wine or coffee. O brought a quite good looking brownie for dessert and everyone has one piece. The last piece of the heavenly treat was worth to throw our friends to the pit.

“I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but since I think we should take pride in how strong we are. I’m going to give the last brownie as a prize to the SADDEST story here” Linc says.

After a little pause, Jasper take the lead, “Well, obviously, it’s me, isn’t it — I have a PhD and several books about my line of work yet I am stuck every single day with dumbs students whose presence can only be justified because of daddy works in the City. I haven’t had a girlfriend since… forever and, true to be told, nobody fancies me, because I’m a nerd who can’t talk to pretty girls.” he finishes with a sad smile and a long gulp of wine. “Nonsense, dummy. I fancy you. Sadly, Linc asked on a date before! You are incredibly smart and funny and I am sure you’ll find the perfect girl soon enough. You just need to man up and whenever you see a girl you like, go for it!” says Octavia trying to cheer up his friend.

“You see — your job still pays pretty well. You have a fancy lab just for you. I, on the other hand, AND, despite am a genius, can’t find a workplace that encourages my passion. Also, you didn’t need to move to another country to try to build a better future. Welcome immigrants. But the reality is quite different and even if we are welcomed for a lot of them, we still find bunch idiots, racist and snobs on our way. Do you know how many time somebody has made fun of my accent? Idiotas!” - she interrupts her little speech to throw to her mouth half bag of M&M, where the fuck the chocolate came from, Jesus- “… Moreover, I can’t remember the last time I was in love. I mean, yes, I have one night stands, but when it comes to Netflix without chill, I only have the Commander, right here, how is that not sad, please?” Raven whines. “Incredible sad” I add for good measure while patting sweetly Raven’s shoulder.

“That’s true,” Echo says, “but I am stuck all day and night in a place full of kids and yet my body is unable to have one on its own. And the worst part is I’ve given up smoking, my favourite thing, because of that, for nothing! After money, tears and time, doctors said we can’t have a baby.”

After a dead silence, we can see Bellamy grabs Echo hands and squeeze sweetly.

“Echo… “ Lincoln starts, “It’s fine. C’est la vie… We’re lucky in so many other ways. We have each other, good jobs, family, friends… but, still, surely I deserve the last brownie” she tries.

“Well, I don’t know” Anya breaks the sombre mood, “Look at my sister. Very unsuccessful professionally. Divorced. Used to be hot, but now she can’t spar for her life. Joined social media years ago but didn’t follow none of us, just the NASA, Times, and National Geographic, and last but not least during our time living together I could hear every single night from her room saying ‘Good night Siri.”

They all laugh. A LOT. I quickly spare a glance to Clarke and she is literally crying out loud. I can feel the blushing all over my neck, face and ears. To make clear the point, Clarke looked at me and brush softly her fingers on my ears murmuring ’so cute’. This woman is going to be the death of me.

“So I get the brownie” I try to save some of my dignity.

“I think you do,” O says.

“Wait a minute! What about me?” Clarke looks around childishly.

All of us exchange looks, “I’m sorry, missy, you think YOU deserve the brownie?” I playfully smirk at her.

“Well… a shot at it, don’t you think, Commander?” My friends are looking back and forth between us cheering a loud ‘uhhhhhh’ and Raven, being Raven jumps “Well, let’s save the sexual tension for later, shall we? And let’s see what you got, blondie.”

“This is a great brownie and I’m going to fight for it. State your claim, Clarke. Do you think you can win? PROVE IT.”

I can really feel how she eyed my offer up and, God, I’m not quite sure if we still are talking about the brownie, but whatever, I’m going for it. I can see Anya looking proudly at me. Clarke straighter her shoulders, close her eyes one seconds and…

“Well, I’ve been on a diet since I was fifteen. I can count with one hand the real friend I have. I’ve had a sequence of not nice partners and every single time my heart gets broken or something really bad happens to me, it gets splashed across every newspaper, social media, etc., as entertainment. I can’t decide anything without consulting it with my agent/my mother, not cool, believe me. I can’t certainly have an open relationship because, well, let’s be real, Hollywood will mess it before we can get to the second date. I’m told what to eat, dress, say, drink and some times even feel, daily. I’ve been hacked more times than I can’t remember. Actually, that’s how I found out years ago that my boyfriend was cheating on me. Meantime, it cost millions to get me looking like this… and one day, not long from now… “ she makes a long pause, “my looks will go and they won’t give me more papers because another thing Hollywood doesn’t like? Middle-aged woman. Actresses not only make a lot of less money than any actors but also most of the times, we can’t be much more than the love interest which means, no nice and young body, no job.”

Silence.

They all look at her.

Then…

“Naah!!”

“Boooring”

“Nice try, gorgeous — but you don’t fool anyone,” Octavia says.

The mood is instantly broken. They all laugh and Clarke wipes her tears while laughing. She looks at me and I feel like we are having a private conversation just with the way our eyes are looking at each other. I narrow my eyes and lean a bit to whisper in her ear, “Pathetic effort to hog the brownie, Clarke.” She smirks and I HAVE to break our little starring contest. She’s good and she knows it. Damn it! After a while, we started to say our goodbyes. “That was such a great evening. Thank you guys for having me.” I say, really happy to have had the opportunity to see Clarke that relaxed. She was a completely different person from the one I saw this afternoon during the interviews.

“I’m delighted. Thank you for coming” Bellamy replies while he holds his hand to shake. She goes for a hug, “… and may I say that was a great dinner.” “Now I know you’re lying,” Bellamy says but can’t help to blush a little. The blonde has that power. “Tsk, you’re right. I told you I was bad at acting” and winks. When Clarke approaches my sister to say goodbye, she hugs her and says “It was really lovely to meet you” and Anya is in cloud nine.

* * *

We move to the door and exit, once we are outside, we hear from inside the house a massive and hysterical scream. I can’t help to feel a bit embarrassed. “Do you have a driver or something?” I say to move from the embarrassment I still feel on my cheeks, “Actually, we can walk for a bit…” Comfortable silence settles and we start walking toward Lansdowne Road.

“So, giant squids, huh?” She mocks.

“Oh dear Jesus. I just love squids, alright? They are majestic creatures” Call me tomato Lexa.

We walk in silence for a moment when from nowhere I say, “Would you like to come to… my house is just…” Clarke smiles at me and shakes her head. “Too complicated,” she says, “that’s fine” I sigh.

She spares me a glance and asks, “Busy tomorrow?”

“I thought you were leaving”

“I was…”

The conversation is on hold. Again. We walk shoulder to shoulder and from time to time the swing of our hands rub against each other. I wish I could build the courage to just take her hand and intertwine our fingers. But, for now, it seems it’s enough to just keep bumping together. Suddenly, Clarke stops in her tracks, “Lex, what’s in there?” I look around, I won’t admit I was shamelessly too distracted by the soft brush of her hand to recognise where we were, “Gardens. All these streets round have mysterious communal gardens in the middle of them. Think of them as little villages.”

“Let’s go in!”

“Ah, no — that’s the point — they are little PRIVATE villages. You need to have a fancy and expensive house in it to have access to its gardens.”

“So, are you telling me the Commander abides by rules like that?” She clearly challenges me with a sassy tone.

“Ahm… Hell no! I do plenty of things like that. Diary, actually. Other people respect the rules — but not me — I just do what I want” That’s right, Lexa. Go big or go home. Since she is still looking at me to take the lead. I start to climb — but, when I hear a bark I fall back onto the pavement. Whoopsie daisies.

Clarke gasps and says, “What did you say”

“Nothing” I mumble. There’s no way I said that out loud. I think. Hope.

“Yes, you did” she loudly snorts.

“No, I didn’t”

“You said ‘whoopsi daisies’”. Tiny pause.

“I don’t think so. No one has said that” I keep trying to save my ass. I am not abandoning this ship. My ship. Lexa fucking Woods is like the badass musicians from the Titanic.

“Yes, you had. No one has said ‘whoopsi daisies’ for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets.”

“Whatever. I’m going in”. I try again and fail. Whoopsi daisies. It does not make any sense since I work out every day and spare with Anya weekly. I mean, I am not a ninja, but c’ mon. Give. Me. A. Break.

“You said it again!!” we look at each other and... “It’s a disease I’ve got, it’s clinical! You can’t make fun of this. I’m taking pills!” so much for saving the ship, musician Lexa chicken Woods.

“Step aside, Commander” The. Death. Of. Me. She starts to climb and well, she’s fit. By the time I managed to stop drooling and about to tell her to be careful she is already on the other side.

“C’ mon, let’s get inside, green eyes” she whispers from the other side.

* * *

I try to climb again and, with terrible difficulty, I must add, finally I get to enter the gardens. I start to dust myself off and head toward where she stands, already in the middle of the garden. 

“Now, seriously — what in the world in this garden could make the ordeal worthwhile —?” I stop my ramble when I look up at her. Although the gardens are barely illuminated, the moon is more than enough light to see her face. Her eyes are so blue and her smile, God, what a smile, is like coming home.

She leans forward and kisses me. A soft, chaste kiss. She steps aside but stays just an inch apart. Her hand is on my cheek and her eyes looking deeply at me trying to figure out all my secrets. After a pause, she smiles and starts walking ahead.

“Nice garden” I murmur.

It’s a moonlit dream. After a while, we come across a single, simple wooden bench. It has a small inscription carved into the wood. Clarke looks at the dates and the quote and gets slightly impressed. Then she reads it out loud... "‘For Jane, who loved this garden — from Alexander, who always sat beside her’ 1917 to 1992". 

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, she softly adds, “Some people do spend their lives together” and I nod because sometimes we don't need to say nothing at all. So, we stay high there, sitting on the bench side by side enjoying the night. After a while, I feel how Clarke starts to shiver and I offer her my jacket. She pleasantly accepts it and we stand up in our way to each other houses. Just when I get home I receive a text from Clarke:

**Clarke** : _I really had a good time tonight, Lexa. Thank you for inviting me. I was wondering would you like to do something tomorrow?_

_Give me a call around noon. G’night xx._


	5. Penguin Coats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clexa second date. 
> 
> Say 'hi' to Finn!

Chapter V: Penguin Coats

It’s five past ten and I am running around the house like a madwoman because I can’t find my glasses.

“Shit, shit, shit…” I yell while opening every drawer, box, closet… “Hey, Raven, have you seen one of my glasses??!” The Latina woman is seating on the couch all relaxed eating popcorn, “‘Afraid not. Have a hot date? Is it Blondie?”

“Bollocks” Of course, today it has to be the day you needed to go to pick up the new contacts and you did not have time. Of course, today has to be the day you left your favourite pair of glasses at the bookshop and of course, today has to be the day the other one hundred pairs of glasses you always have around the house magically disappears !!! You are late and you can’t find your glasses. You are a small blind gay bean and you are going to the cinema. GREAT.

Shit, shit, shit… is that the time? I have to go. I sprint downstairs, now fully dressed with high heels boots, blue fit jeans, and a simple cashmere grey jersey. My hair is straightened - well, ish- and I’m wearing light make up. Nice and simple. Now, run for your life, Lexa.

Before I run toward the door, I hear Raven yelling “Hey, did you find them?”

“Sort oooff”

* * *

When I arrive at the theatre, Clarke is already waiting on the corner. She is wearing a simple white dress with short boots.

“I’m SO sorry I am late. You look stunning, by the way,” I steal a quick glance at her with pleading eyes. 

“No worries! Actually, you are on time. I just got here. And thank you, you look quite good as well” After a tiny pause, I hold the door and invite her inside the cinema.

“Since you paid for the tickets, the treats are on me,” she says as she happily approaches the counter with all the sweets. We ended up getting a large popcorn, M&M, Kit Kat, and water. Well, she picked them all and I just looked at her in disbelief, “No that I don’t really care, like at all, but I thought you said yesterday you have to follow a strict diet and blahblablah…” she looks at me and tries to play the offended role saying, “Duh, I was trying to get the last brownie. I work out regularly and follow a healthy diet, but I never suppress my tooth sweet self. Is who I am. And I love my body” she finishes with a wink. There you go. _Hai voluto la bicicletta? Allora, pedala_! 

I should have said something like, ‘ I was trying to make a bad joke and did not mean to offend you’ instead I said “Hell, I like your body too. I was just trying to win you back for the ‘whoopsidaisies’s stunt” and add a wink. WOW, WOW, WOW, Woods, you have game little shit. You ain’t see that coming! HA! And mentally high five myself for good measure. Clarke openly laughs, grabs my hand and take me inside, “C’ mon, stud.”

When the lights go down I get the ‘glasses’ from my purse. Since I couldn’t find my glasses, I finally grabbed the diving goggles. I least I’m going to be able to watch the movie. Clarke can hardly stop making fun of me during the movie. So, I stuck there, with scuba-diving goggles glasses and my mouth open so I can breathe. Every one in a while I can feel a handful of popcorn thrown at me. To my right, my favourite blonde sticks her tongue out like a child.

* * *

After the movie, we went to a Thai. We sit, order our meal and happily talk about the rom-com we went to watch. It turns out that the actress loves cheese rom-com as much as me. Once we start eating we decide to step into a more personal conversation.

“So, who left who?”

“She left me” I pout.

“Why” a small frown that makes her looks adorable. 

“She saw through me” She contemplates for a moment with fingers at her chin for good measure and adds “I don’t think she _really_ got to see through you.”

At some point, we start to hear a group of people sitting in the nearby table… Two rowdy men.

One of them says, “No way mate, give me Clarke Griffin any day”

Clarke and I smirk to each other.

The other man replies, “No, way, Dax, I didn’t like the last film of hers. Fast asleep from the moment the light went down."

Again, Clarke takes her hand to her chaste and pretending to be offended. I can’t help but make a small laugh with her little pout.

The first man, Dax, I assume replies again, “No — not my type at all really. I prefer the other one — brunette — sweet looking — with a hot and tight superhero costume…"

‘Gal Gadot’ Clarke mouths.

“Gal Gadot!” spats the other man.

We smiled again. We certainly enjoying it.

A third friend joined the conversation, “I hear she’s actually in rehab or ‘miracle clinic’ as we speak. Apparently, a few directors ask her to lose some weight in order to get more movies…” Clarke twinkle fades.

“You know” the man continue the conversation, “I might not be crazy about blondes but, mate, she's absolutely gagging for it. You just have to see the interviews, she’s goddam filthy, I bet she’s —“ I can’t hear the end of the phrase because I quickly stood and go straight to scold those neanderthals.

“I’m sorry to disturb you guys but — “ one of them, interrupts me with a look up-down my body, “Hello, beauty, I’m Emmerson. Can I help you?”

“Well yes. I wish I hadn’t overheard your conversation — but I did. And I think you should know that the person you are talking about is a real person, with feelings, and deserves a little bit of consideration, rather than a bunch of jerks drooling over her…”

“Oh, calm your tits, who are you? Her mom? Are you jealous? You know, you can join me with Clarke. See, that’s a party I’d like to attend, one blonde and one brunette” he starts laughing at his own little joke. Suddenly, Clarke appears at my side and whips those idiots.

“I’m sorry” I look apologetic to her a bit embarrassed. She grabs my arm sweetly and says, “No, that’s fine. I love that you are so chivalrous." Then she looks straight back to the group of men and waves her hand. After a few seconds, they seem to recognize her and their faces turned completely pale.

“I am sorry about my friend — she’s very sensitive”

“I-- I-- I am so sorry, Clarke Griffin” one of them slurs with wide eyes.

“Please, please — let’s just leave it there. I’m sure you meant no harm and I am also sure your cocks are all the size of peanuts. A perfect match for the size of your brains. Enjoy your meal.” Then she grabs my hand and walks away with me following her like a lost puppy. 

* * *

Once we are in the street and after the rush of adrenaline, Clarke realizes she’s been holding my hand since the restaurant and shyly let me go. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. Normally I don’t stand for myself every time I heard something like that but seeing as somebody did for the first time… I kind feel brave.”

“Clarke, you were brilliant!”

“I’m rash and I’m stupid… I have no idea what I’m doing with you?” She rambles and mumbles adorably. I smile at her, “I don’t know either, I’m afraid.”

We walk quietly and after a few minutes, we arrived at the end of the arcade.

“Here we are,” Clarke says after a pause. I can really see she is fighting some kind of internal battle with herself. After avoiding my glance for a few seconds, she licks her lips and “Do you want to come up” she looks so shocked like she can’t believe she has said that. I hope, “There seem to be a few reasons I shouldn’t.”

“There are a lot of reasons, but, do you want to come up?” I know my looks say yes. My face says yes. My heart says yes. Ok, a few parts of me scream YES. But, instead, I stare blankly at her.

“Give me a few minutes and then come upstairs, ok?” Then she’s left.

Wait, what?

* * *

After a few minutes pacing around the main entrance I finally make my mind. Also, I think the hotel doorman has grown tired of me. It’s funny, when I go inside I barely notice a whisper that says ‘good luck’ and when I give him a glance he has a soft smile. Well, here we go. I. Can. Do. This.

_Oh, crap_

_Oh, crap_

_Oh, crap_

I can’t. This is so not me. I’m Lexa. I am so normal. I barely make it through the month. When was the last time I had a date? I can’t remember. I have no game. My sister is right and now we want to pretend you can woo Clarke fucking Griffin? I’m sure it has to be quite funny for whoever is right now in the lobby to see an idiot talking nonsense and going back and forth. She is expecting me. I mean, I can send her a text and tell her that something came out, can I? Yes. That’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’m a useless lesbian. Get over. it.

Two strong knocks. With the determination I KNOW I DON’T HAVE. After a few seconds, Clarke opens the door, well, barely cracks the door and greets me with a soft ‘hey’. She seems nervous, so, I guess I’m not the only one who is internally freaking it out. I must admit it gives me some confidence to know that I real goddess is a bit tense with the idea of inviting me to her room.

So, I move forward and give her a gentle kiss on the cheek, “Hi”

“You’ve got to go” Pause. How thin is the line between somebody who's a bit nervous and someone uncomfortable I guess I was mistaken and the signs weren’t that clear but hell, I’m curious. I’ve gathered a lot of courage to knock this bloody door and now I want to know if I’ve done something wrong. So, I furrow and ask “Why. What’s wrong?”

She, very calm, takes a soft breath and says “Because my boyfriend, who I thought wasn’t my boyfriend anymore, is here, not in America, where he supposed to be. In fact, he’s in the next room.” Here is nothing. 

Oh God, how wrong I was… am I that out of the game or was she playing with me?

“Your boyfriend?” Still a bit unsure. Although, I look shocked she remains quite calm. “Yes.”

At that moment, the boyfriend makes an appearance and opens the door completely, “Who’s this, babe?” I don’t need to be very aware to know that the boyfriend is a famous star. He looks very handsome. What? I’m gay, not blind. He's shirtless with a towel enrolled on his waist, clearly just took a shower.

“I am _just_ … room service.” It sounds more like a question but he didn’t seem to notice. He flashes me a million-dollar charm smile and says, “Hey, how are you doing? You know, I thought here in the UK you guys all wore those penguin coats? Or maybe it’s just for men? I don’t know, man, hahaha…”

“Uh… Yes — usually — we do. It’s just that I was actually on my way home and changed, but they asked me to deal a final call” and the Oscar goes to… Lexa Woods.

In the meantime, Clarke is quiet, a bit taken aback. Nevertheless, I can see she’s giving me pleading eyes.

“Oh great,” the boyfriend says completely oblivious to what is really happening, “… anyway, my name is Finn Collins. Could you do me a favour and try to bring us some really water up here? Sparkling water… uh… Aqua Deco, would be fine. I really can’t stand still water. Unless it’s illegal in the UK” he rambles and laughs at his own jokes. I really try my best to looks professional and add, “No, sure, absolutely. It will be fine” I am turning when he says “Wait! Could you just take the dishes and empty the trash." Clarke seems to jump from the stupor and before I scoop the plates and the bin she grabs his arm, “Don’t do that, please — I’m sure this is not her job, Finn.”

The boy with shaggy hair smiles again, “I’m sorry, is this a problem?” Asks me directly.

“Oh, no, not at all. It’s fine.”

“What’s your name? You have taken out your name tag” I improvise again, “Ahm… Alycia”.

Finn slips me a few bills in my hand and then turns to Clarke and gives her a sounded kiss, “Ahhh my favourite blonde, is this a nice surprise, isn’t it!!?” She forces a smile, “Yes” and he laughs.

“God, she hates surprises. Well, darling are you ordering Alycia here something to eat? Don’t over-do it eh, I don’t want people saying ‘here goes that famous actor with his big, fat girlfriend” he playfully says before leaving toward the bathroom. 

“I am so, so, sorry… I am so ashamed that I don’t even know what to say” She is pale and the sadness and the embarrassment from her eyes are evident.

“I think, perhaps, goodbye is traditional.” After a curt nod, I walk away down the corridor.

I exit the hotel and after taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I head home feeling stones and yes, why not, very disappointed and ashamed. I can’t believe I fall for this again. Idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hai voluto la bicicletta? Allora, pedala -- You want/wanted a bike? Now, pedal!  
> Thank you for the comments and the kudos!  
> PS: I haven't given up about the proofreader.  
> Goodnight Siri!


	6. How can you mend a broken heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't given up about the beta/proofreader situation.  
> On a brighter note, thanks for the positive reviews.

_ Previously...  _

_“I am so, so, sorry… I am so ashamed that I don’t even know what to say”_

_“I think, perhaps, goodbye is traditional”_

_I walk away still stunned and yes, why not, very disappointed and ashamed. I can’t believe I fell for this again. Love is a weakness. idiot._

* * *

Chapter VI: How can you mend a broken heart

I don’t recall my walk on my way home. I’m going on autopilot. I do remember that while waiting on a light to turn green, my eyes catch a big ban that covers a whole bus. A huge picture of Clarke.

The following days are very quiet and, well, it’s not like I am depressed but I am certainly feeling a bit blue. So, what we do, when we, mortals, feel down and mopping around something? Easy. We torture ourselves with the very thing that makes us miserables. I least that’s the only reason to understand why I am sitting right now in a theatre with The Ark about to start. And there is Clarke Griffin, playing Eliza Taylor, the badass leader of the Skaikru, fastening the last clasps on her uniform. Then she takes a helmet and places it on her head. Everything is SLOW MOTION. So, you can really appreciate how beautiful (screwed) she is (I am).

Goddamnit Clarke!

Going to the cinema was the high line that weekend. I am living dangerously, I know. Here I am now, looking out of my window, lost in thoughts when Raven came home.

She starts to get naked as soon she crosses the door only stopping when she is underwear. A new thing, I guess. “Ok. I’ve let you mope, on a very miserably way may I add, for a couple of weeks,” she is in front of me with her hands on the waist like an angry mother, “come on — open up — split it, Commander, I’ve been trained in sixteen lethal interrogation techniques.”

Uh?

“No, you haven’t. Besides, do you realize that if they are lethal there’s not much I’m going to say, right?” She snaps her tongue, “Semantics.”

“Well… There’s this girl…”

“AHA! I’d been getting a useless lesbian vibe lately. Good. Continue” she says while she settles on the arm of my chair and gets (where the hell that came from?) a bag of Doritos.

“Let’s say, she’s someone I — someone who… self-evidently can’t be mine. But, I am an idiot and I’ve opened Pandora’s box. And there’s some much trouble inside… but at the same time, it feels so right and so good…” I say.

“Ok. Tricky. I knew a girl from my school named Pandora. Never get to see her box though” she laughs and pokes me in my ribs clearing trying to cheer my mood, “now, seriously, how are you so sure that the Pandora’s box from the blondie is so out of reach? You should give yourself some credit. And, if she is not smart enough to see how wonderful you are, then her lost is, she can go back to that joke of spaceship they made. I mean c’ mon, you don’t even need to have basic knowledge in engineering to know it’s IMPOSSIBLE to survive all that time with no oxygen. Me, on the other hand, I could, because I am a genius and also a natural spacewalker.” Yes, this is definitely Raven rambling about weird stuff… and finally, a small smile cracks my serious face. She got up feeling her work is done, smiles pats me on the back, and mumble something about needing salsa before she is left.

* * *

Thanking God is Saturday, I go with the gang to Octavia’s restaurant to enjoy a nice meal. The place is not full of people, only a few tables are being used which is nice because it’s not loud but calm. Jasper is reading from his iPad a gossip magazine with a picture of Clarke and Finn Collins at Heathrow Airport.

“You didn’t know she had a boyfriend?” Echo asks incredulously.

Of course not dummy, she kissed me!! What am I suppose to think of course they don’t know about the kiss - kisses-, “No — did you?” They look a bit uncomfortable making obvious that everyone did, but me. Getting ‘Chronicle of a Death Foretold’ vibes.

“Bloody hell. I can’t believe it!” I hiss. I’m feeling more and more stupid. So, Bellamy doing a ‘Bellamy’ spats “Well, let’s face the truth. This was always a no-go situation. Clarke is a goddess and this is not Hercules, mortals don’t get involve with gods.”

At that point, I think everybody feels sorry for me, my sister tries to save some of my embarrassment and explain, “You know if we are being really honest, the relationship between Clarke and Finn is being on and off for a couple of years. They spent months apart and then a magazine catches them in Capri or wherever. There are a few rumours about an arranged relationship planted for their agents and pt’s. It’s quite common between actors to promote movies or TV shows. They were working on a TV show a few years back and their characters were, from the first season, meant to be together. After a few seasons, they started dating and the rating number and the fans went crazy. You know, it’s Hollywood. It doesn’t mean they are together anymore, maybe you should have asked her.”

The long explanation caught my attention, but Bellamy waves it off and snaps his fingers, “I really have the solution to your problems!” He happily says.

What, do you? “Really?” We all look at him expecting wise words.

“Hell, yes, her name is Monroe and she works at RRHH. She’s as bright as a button and kisses like a nymphomaniac on death row” Echo clears her throat and glares at him, “I meant, apparently. That’s what I heard” he saves.

* * *

And that’s the reason the following weeks I find myself having blind dates with pretty much all the single ladies my friends knew. The first one was the Monroe chick Bell introduced me. She was nice but unable to have a conversation for more than thirty seconds. The following week was Zoe, Jasper’s college. She was… well, nice. You know… it turned out she was a fruitarian. She was talking non-stop during the dinner about it ‘we believe the fruits and vegetables have feelings. Cooking is cruel. We think we can only eat the food that has fallen from the tree or bush. They are dead already, so it’s good to eat it’. Then she called us mass murders for eating the baby carrots in our plates. Poor carrots. How beastly. After that, Octavia tried her luck with Gina. She was smart, open-hearted and polite. We had a wonderful meal and enjoyed a fantastic lamb Octavia cooked. We all laugh. At the end of the night, I walked her to her door and she gently kissed me on the cheek.

The morning after that the gang was having brunch and Linc said out loud what everybody was dying to ask, “Well…?”

“She is perfect…” Anya didn’t see my answer very convincing.

“So, are you going out on a second date with her or what?”

I make an exasperated gesture and bit my lips, “The truth is I’ve been doing quite good those last years by myself. I mean, it’s unusual to find someone who actually turns your world upside down, you know? To find someone you love and who loves you in return. I’m not even sure about my feelings with Clarke. I know she’s special. She elevates herself. But, let’s be honest, the one and last time I poured my heart in a relationship was a total disaster. So…” I sight softly and refuse to look at my friends because I know I’ll find pity.

“Hey, you guys want to crash here? So, I can open a fancy bottle of whiskey that was casually found on my desk?” Bell says childishly avoiding her wife’s glare. We all giggle and yell ‘hell, yeah!’ Family.

* * *

This weekend I’ve decided to spend some quality time with myself. So, I’ve spent the morning visiting the British Museum. It’s not my first time, but, since it’s free and huge, I tend to enjoy one wing at the time, as I like to say. On my way home, once I exited the tube, I catch with the corner of my eye a tack of tabloid papers with the picture of Clarke on their front page with big and flashy headlines. I fit the overcoat to protect me from the cold and keep walking.

Days turn weeks and weeks turns months. And step by step, it seems I relearn how to get into surviving mode again. Friends and family, my bookshop and a few little and simple things. I just got home from the gym and I found myself in the mood for a bubble bath with candles and a nice book. I’ve trying to hide my guilty pleasure from my friends -successfully may I add- for a long time. There’s nothing wrong with a bubble bath, candles, wine, and books, but I don’t need them to tease me about my ‘old useless lesbian’ habits, mocking about how many cats I should adopt. For the record, I’m a dog person. Anyway, my bath was almost ready and I was lighting a few candles when I hear the bell. I curse under my breath. Fuck. So much for a quiet night. I head downstairs and open the door.

There stands a dark-glassed figure. With a sad smile softly says, “Hi. Can I come in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the chapter. Next ones are full of clexa, smug, cuties, useless lesbian, useless bi, cheesy quotes...  
> G'night Siri!


	7. Drink. Your. Tea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Saturday, binches! 
> 
> I really really enjoyed writing this chapter, from the ones I already updated, 'Drink. Your. Tea.' is where I made more changes from the original movie plot. Let me know what you all think. 
> 
> Before I indulge myself with cheap wine, a little gift! Enjoy ;)

_Previously..._

_Days turn weeks and weeks turns months. I just got home from the gym. I found myself in the mood for a bubble bath with candles and a nice book. I’ve trying to hide my guilty pleasure from my friends -successfully may I add- for a long time. There’s nothing wrong with a bubble bath, candles, wine, and books, but I don’t need them to tease me about my ‘old useless lesbian’ habits, mocking about how many cats I have. For the record, I’m a dog person. Anyway, my bath was almost ready and I was lighting a few candles when I hear the bell. I curse under my breath. Fuck. So much for a quiet night. I head downstairs and open the door. There stands a dark-glassed Clarke. With a sad smile softly says, “Hi. Can I come in?”_

* * *

Chapter VII: Drink. Your. Tea

It took me a couple of minutes to come back to reality and once I realize I’m still at the door with Clarke in front of me I make a little jump out of my stupor and move to the aside in order to let her in. She hesitates for a moment and then steps inside. I haven’t yet found my words and I can’t help but feel everything around me is going in slow motion. We walk to the living room and stay in front of each other. She avoids my face and I take advantage of that to take a closer look at her. Her hair is a mess and her eyes don’t shine like the last time we see each other. They are not only tired but also a bit red and puffy. Nothing is idealized. I can really sense how uneasy Clarke feels and I can’t help reaching her arm with a soft touch. She makes a little jump like my touch makes her land in this reality. I don’t know where she went for a moment but it certainly seems an unpleasant place for her. She looks at me with unshed tears in her eyes and smile. 

The thing is after our last… whatever that was, I promised myself to cut with this bullshit of fantasy. I felt not only a bit hurt but also ashamed. For all I know she could have made fun of me, have a nice night in another country, playing with me… after all, she was an actress, wasn’t she? So, as far I know, I was some kind of wicked game. And now she’s back and she wants me to forget about everything? Not happening. So I decided to give her a ‘time-out’ to refresh herself and recover from, whatever is there to recover, and then, the Aussie has some explaining to do.

“Clarke, I don’t know what are you doing here and honestly I’m not sure how to proceed” - she’s now a lost puppy that finds the coffee table the most interesting thing in the world- “however, since I don’t know the situation, I’m going to cut you some slacks. Before you knocked the door I was getting ready for a bath, however, I think you might need that more than me so, how about you go upstairs, refresh yourself while I make some tea?” I try with my zen calm voice.

“Thank you” I am not sure what she’s thanking me, because honestly, I can pick a matter to be thankful, but, anyway, I sign her to go upstairs and I head to the kitchen.

After forty-five minutes she came downstairs and enter the kitchen wrapped in a towel that barely skimmed her tights. However, the vibe she gives is more shy than sexual. So, I put aside my certainly thoughts, “Hi. Uhm… I was wondering if I could borrow some clothes” - she asks while playing with the hem of the towel-, “I didn’t bring anything with me…” It takes me only five seconds to answer, I’m that good, “sure, go to my room, second door to the left and open the big drawer on the corner, you can borrow whatever you need. Don’t worry.”

Ten minutes later she came back downstairs wearing grey sweatpants and a blue plaint t-shirt. Her hair is still dumper from the shower and her face make up free. She looks much better than before and certainly more relaxed. I take two mugs full of tea and walk with her to the living room. She gets comfy on the couch and I hand her the cup of tea. She takes a sip and uhm in appreciation. After being raised by my dear mother Indra, one thing I have refined through the years was the patience. So I wait patiently sipping my cup and enjoying the silence between us. After a long fifteen minutes that I believe she needed to get her head in order, she takes a long breath, smooth her lips, and starts…

“Can I turn on the radio?”

“Sure”

She gets up and turns the radio, searching through the stations until she finds something she fancies, I suppose. ‘When you say nothing at all’ by Ronan Keating starts to play background. She sits and after a minute starts to softly sing the lyrics. And let me tell you something, that women can really sing, she had dropped the American accent and I am freaking moving to Australia, ok?

“A few years ago I was chosen in this new American TV show about science fiction. At that time, I was broke. I’ve been working as an actress back in Australia for a while but nothing big. When I decided to move to LA I wasn’t fully aware of how hard it would be” - she then makes a pause and sips, I still wait, giving her time-, “as I said, I was barely making it, and when this new producer came to me about the TV show I didn’t hesitate to move to Vancouver. I know it’s not an excuse - but, you have no idea of the pressure this world can give you. Anyway, after one season, the producers and everybody, in general, were very happy with the results and then they started talking about the chemistry between the other lead actor and me” — at this point, it seemed she was more talking to herself, moving her hands and scoffing to what she was saying- “… so they asked us to, you know, playing along during cons, make a smile, a touch here and there… that’s easy, you know? The people talk about the chemistry they see during the interviews and cons but truth is, we are asked to do that. At some point, I confuse what was real and what wasn’t and the relationship they asked to pretend for the media, started to feel a bit real. See, the thing is, the dinner we shared last time with your friends… I — I’ve missed that since I became famous. Friends and lovers are really difficult to find… and well, Finn was there. And I knew Finn had a lot of baggage. I mean, he has always been known for a playboy with charming smile and not very convincing acting skills. But he is nice and above all, he is one of us — them… I knew that whatever our ‘relation’ status was, was faked, and that’s something I can control. My feelings were not in danger. It was something that producers, managers, and agents talked through. No possibility of falling in love with someone who’s gonna sell your private pictures or make you their sugar mama. Plus, he was and is big time in Hollywood and a few years ago I didn’t have the strength to tell the producers ‘I’m not going to pretend he is my boyfriend’, so I play along because it was only for show. We had our story but I wasn’t at all the love soulmate story the press and public wanted. Harmless. 

In order to produce the second season, they asked us for a stupid photo-shoot, whose I am so ashamed of. It now appears during the photo-shoot someone was filming me as well, and it looks like a porno film. Even though it wasn’t anything like that, just pictures a bit… well, hight tone. The thing is the pictures and the video has been sold and they’re everywhere” - she has started to breathe heavily and seems angry, sad, upset at the same time. A few tears escape and make their way down the blonde cheeks-, “ and let me tell you, I fucking love the UK but every time I put a foot in London, I just can’t breathe with the papers. It’s the worst” she is now very shaken.

“You can stay here if you want” I open my mouth for the first time in almost an hour. And you can’t help feeling like an idiot. This woman right here lied to your face and you were dumped a few months ago for her. Lexa, are you kidding right now? But, on the other hand, I can’t stay mad seeing how she struggled to tell me her story. I know I couldn’t live in a world where I don’t have the security of family, of friends… real friends. It must be lonely for people like her and the price seems a bit high. They are actors, singers… you don’t need to know 24/7 what is happening with their life, you don’t have the right to criticize, talk bullshit, or harass them. They are real people. This woman next to me is a real human. So, maybe I’m getting soft, but I can’t be the bad guy with someone who appears so broken and alone to me. One side of my brain is warning me, ‘run Lexa, she’s trouble, and you are going to get hurt again’, but…

“Lex, the pictures… they are horrible. They’re so grainy!! They make me look like —sobs- I had no sleep in days and I’ve just come from Barcelona and got mosquito bites all over me and I can never remember how to spell restaurant." at this point she is a mess.

“Drink. your. tea.” I command and she gives me a small smile, “besides, you don’t need to worry about paparazzi. You can stay here. This is the place.”

* * *

The next day I left Clarke sleeping while I headed to work. Last night was exhausting for her. She chose to go to bed after our conversation and I let her be knowing how drained she was. She really made a little fuss because she didn’t want to accept sleeping in my bed while I took the couch. But, finally, I succeed after telling her I would share with Raven. There was no way I was sharing with Raven, she is noisy, kicks, and can start eating something from nowhere. Pass. So, I went to work hoping to wrap everything up before lunch, leave Linc to close the bookshop, and come back to spend the rest of the day with Clarke.

* * *

After a quick stop to get some fresh flowers I arrive home and the delicious smell of food surrounds me. To my surprise, I found Clarke in front of the stove checking a casserole. She didn’t realize I’m at home and looks completely relaxed. A background sound comes from her phone, ’A kiss to build a dream on’ by Louis Armstrong. Of fucking course, Clarke would extend her perfectionism to her music taste. She is swinging, barefoot, in pyjamas to Lous Armstrong rhythm in my kitchen. God so help me. Suddenly, she looks above her shoulders and sees me. “Oh my God! Lexa, you scared me to death! I’m buying you a bell, Geez” she playfully throws the dish towel to me.

“ Hahaha, It wasn’t my intention to scare you. Sorry. I call your name a few time but you were too into your duty to realize, I guess. How was your day?” I ask while I put the flowers in a vase with sine water.

She eyes the flowers and gets a bit closer to smell them, “I was making something for dinner, I thought it would be nice to have a nice gesture with you… and, well, the rest of the day was nice, no electronic advice… just in snickers and reading. It was nice.” And I am not picturing her in underwear, because nope, that would be just wrong.

“Well, that sounds nice. Would you mind to wait a bit, I’m going upstairs so I can get comfy and then we can enjoy dinner.” She beams a bit, “Sounds perfect. I set everything.”

* * *

After the amazing dinner Clarke made, we are enjoying a glass of wine while watching some random TV show Clarke is obsesses with.

“I’m sorry about what happened last time. He just flew in — I had no idea — in fact, I had no idea we still were, you know, a thing. The last time we saw each other I thought I was quite clear about it.”

“It’s ok. I mean, he didn’t treat me disrespectfully, just Hollywood-ish style.” She smiles. “I know you said yesterday, that your relationship was, well, let’s say unclear, but… I am wondering, were there feelings involved? Real feelings.” I try bitting my lip furiously because honestly, I don’t know if I’m crossing a line.

“As I said, it was something very made for a propose. Did I love him? I didn’t. We were fine together, I suppose. At first, his charisma and nice smile really confuse me, but I can remember any trace of something deeper than colleagues with benefits thing.” She is hesitant, I can see it in her eyes… who am I to say something about private life the people choose to have? My warm smile encourages her to keep talking, “and what about you?”

“Well, that’s a question that, believe me, It has not an interesting answer.”

“I have thought about you,” Clarke says with pink ears and soft voice.

“Nope… we are not doing this” my tone is harsh and she has sensed it. I’m sorry If it sounds rude, but honestly I’m nailing my ‘good host’ attitude and I might mess up if certain things are said.

“I am sorry. It’s just — I fear I should keep things to myself but something it’s just I can control it and blurt the mess I have in my head. I’ve thought about you, I have, and there’s no point to deny it… it’s just that everything I’ve tried to keep things normal with anyone — eventually it turns to be a disaster and—“

_Not ready._

“I’m sorry Clarke. I appreciate your words, but let’s just… I don’t know —“ I look around in search of another topic, “hey, what is that?” - I point to the book (?) she has on her lap— “is that for your new film?”

She lowers her eyes a bit sad but quickly replaced her mask with a tight smile and a bite of her lower lip. “Yes. It is for the new movie I’m starting in a few weeks.” So, she stayed has an expiration date.

“Would you like me to help you with your lines” I inquire.

“Dardy!”

_Uh?_

“The basic plot uh… I’m a difficult but brilliant junior officer who discovers the betrayal from one of the senior officers. I have about ten minutes to save part of my crew but in order, to that, I have to pull a label that will kill civilians, some of them guilty and some not.”

“That’s a shitty situation” I scoff. She hands me the scrip and points me ‘my lines’. “Ok, let’s do this.”

I straightened my shoulders and wear a serious face to go into character like a professional I am. Damn right.

“Message from command. The fifth floor has been cleared, there’s no sign of Cage. Would you like to send them a final warning or send them in the HKs’” HK What? I am wondering what is that. I'll Google it later. Nerd Lexa never sleeps. 

I can see in her face she is not Clarke Griffin anymore but Ellen Langford. With a deep husky voice, she commands “Negative. Turn over 4 TRS’s and tell them we have radar feedback and it’s over for them. Then inform the Pentagon that we’ll be needing the Polaris to evacuate — and don’t you dare say one word about how many mistakes I made in that speech or I’ll pelt you with Spanish olives!”

“Very well, captain — I’ll pass that on straightway”

Suddenly, sweet Clarke with no trace of an American accent is back again, “How many?”

“Eleven”

“Goddammit, Lexa!"

“It’s Cartwright” I pout.

“Cartwright, Wainwright, whatever your name is, I promised Jason I’d be home for her birthday — could you maybe let him know I may be a little late”

“Certainly. And little Jacob”

“My son’s name is Jacob?"

“Yup”

“Who’s Jason?” 

“Dunno”

“Well, get a message through to him too”

“Annnnnd cut!” She snorts to my little stunt and caresses my arm, “What do you think?”

“Gripping. It’s not Jane Austen, but it’s gripping”

“Do you think I should do something of Jane Austen?”

“Perhaps. You know, you really have Hallmark Christmas movie face. You should try”

“Rich and brat CEO who receives the visit of differents ghosts who teach me the very meaning of Christmas or something like that?”

“Hot CEO. I’d totally fancy that” I add with a toothy smile.

“I am very happy to see you have caught the plot quickly” we laugh together for a while, “and also, I’m happy to think I’d be a hot CEO” she adds with a very cheeky smile. I pout and close my eyes whipping a fake tear.

“Aww, poor you,” she says with the biggest smile of the day.

This is helping. I can see it. She seems more carefree today. Pentagon, mission accomplished. And I smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! I am already editing the next one, so hopefully it won't take long to update.  
> Still looking for a beta/proofreader. I'm really trying to make as less mistakes as possible, but I know for sure it would be quite better with some help. So, volunteers?


	8. Happiness isn’t happiness without a violin- playing goat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding time among tea, pizza, Netflix and Chagall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little surprise for the month-anniversary. 
> 
> I am becoming more and more confident in writing this fic, so I tried to add more scenes and cuties dialogues between Clarke and Lexa. The best scene from the movie, besides the 'date in the garden', is one developed in this chapter, you will know which one because that's exactly how love supposed to be!

_Previously..._

_“I am very happy to see you have catch the plot quickly” we laugh together for a while, “and also, I’m happy to think I’d be a a hot CEO” she adds with a very cheeky smile. I pout and close my eyes whipping a fake tear._

_“Aww, poor you” she says with the biggest smile of the day. This is helping. I can feel it. She seems more carefree today. Pentagon, mission accomplished. And I smile._

* * *

Chapter VIII:  
Happiness isn’t happiness without a violin-playing goat

After a few days, Clarke and I got into a simple routine that consists of reading, watching movies and sitting with a cup of tea sharing a comfortable silence. The beautiful actress is a completely different person from the one who knocked on the door a few days ago. I’ve learned she is also an incredible conversationalist. Today, we are siting on the couch eating a nice pint of ice cream. It’s my turn to pick a movie, so I am concentrated scrolling through Netflix when she breaks the silence.

“I can’t believe you have that picture on your wall.”

I turn my head to the direction she is pointing and I see a the print of a Chagall I have. A beautiful painting named La Mariée I bought last year in a Parisian street market. I knew Clarke was very fond of art in general, yesterday we were discussing for about hours the most worth-visiting museum. She has a soft spot for Villa Borghese in Rome and the Met in New York, and I’m still faithful to Uffizi in Firenze and the British Museum. Talking about ‘get a girl who can do both’, she cooks, she loves art, museums, books, has a good taste in music, is stunning, humble… she can not do both, she has it all. Anyway, Lexa, come back to Earth.

“You like Chagall?”

“I do. This particular painting feels like how being in love should be, don’t you think?” — her bright blue eyes looking at me, searching in them for something I can quite place yet, and then she adds, “ … floating through a dark blue sky…”

The blonde sounds so serious and intense that I feel a bit naked, a bit vulnerable like she pierced into my soul and there’s nothing I can do. I can't help to compare the shade of blue Chagall used with her eyes and get lost in them.

Hoping to gain some control of the situation I inquire, “So, according to you, love floats though the dark sky with a goat playing a violin.” Please say no, please say no.

“Yes…

… happiness wouldn’t be happiness without a violin-playing goat” Clarke casually comments while softly brush my arm up and down. And there’s nothing sexual about the moment. There are not second intentions. The contact is fresh, is soft, is sweet… like the first morning of autumn.

* * *

Raven surprises us for dinner with three boxes of pizzas and some beers. Clarke jumps from the couch at the sight of food, how in hell she is that fit, she’s as lazy as Raven and both can’t stop eating. Actually Clarke has grow very fond of mock my morning runs and routine to stay fit.

Raven drops the boxes unceremoniously on the coffee table and shouts, “Sorpresa! Five meats, for the queen of Notting Hill — Hawaiian for the queen of Hollywood — and pepperoni with ‘top everything you can’ for the queen of queens, Raven Reyes.

“How do you know she likes Hawaiian?”

“I googled it”

“That’s very… invasive” I add astonished. Raven and her lack of social skills. More like, ‘ don’t give a fuck about people skills’.

“Oh, no worries. You brought pizza. I forgive almost everything if pizza and wine is part of the apologise.” She happily adds while getting a slice and catching a piece of bacon that has felt in her lap. What a messy eater she is, God. It definitely should bother me a bit, but I can’t help finding it endearing. Raven, on the other hand, has taken the biggest piece of pizza, a least two o three slices together, raised it to the top of her head and… please Raven, not today… please, please, please…

“BAAAAAAAAAHHHH SOWHENYAAAHHHHH MAMABEATSEBABAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!” (The Lion King’s opening sequence)

God, I want to crawl under a rock and die…

Clarke, however, is chocking, coughing and laughing so hard I think she might be the one who actually dies.

* * *

Later that evening, once Raven has left to a party somewhere with somebody. We sip some more wine while sitting on the couch. She is in one side and has her legs up on my side, I am sat on the other corner laying down on the arm of the couch. After a few minutes of just-existing, I feel something on my side, I look down and see her toes nudging my hip trying to catch my attention. I look at her, she smiles, and I’m a goner.

“You’ve got pianist's hands,” she says.

“Yes. Always have had.” What a great answer, genius.

She pokes me again on my hip, “You know what they say about women with big hands and long fingers?” She lifts her eyes browns up and down comically and I am not going down (no pun intended) for this.

“No. What’s that?” I play along.

“Big hands… large gloves.”

We stare at each other for a few seconds and I’m giving her the ‘really Clarke?’ Look. She really tries to keep a straight face, but finally cracks up and I follow her holding my side because I don’t think I have a laugh that much like ever.

* * *

Next morning, we are making lunch, well, she is making lunch and I am assisting her. She has learnt to move around my kitchen better than me. At some point, I can’t help and ask her a few questions about her job. I meant, let’s be honest, everybody is a bit curious about Hollywood, how it works…

Clarke is patiently explaining to me, “… The thing that’s so irritating is that after all the crap’ with the photo-shoot I told you about, now I’m totally fierce when I come to nudity clauses."

“You actually have clauses in your contact about that?”

“Absolutely! ‘You may show the dent at the top of the buttocks but neither cheek.’ Sometimes they hire a stunt person, like the gardener you suggested, to do certainly scenes.” I send her a small glare because seriously Clarke I thought you had been quite content with my awesome act as a journalist.

But let’s get to the important part, “You said you have a stunt bottom?” OMG, I absolutely love Clarke Griffin’s butt, does that mean that I actually love somebody else’s butt?? I AM DEVASTATED. I love two different butts? Uhm… Two different identical butts? Ok, maybe it’s a big deal. I have fond memories of some scenes, ok?

“I could have a stunt bottom, yes.” No, no, you don’t get to do that. You’re literally playing with thousand, millions, of gays/bi hearts!

“Could you? Does that mean you have been tempted to go for a slightly better bottom your own?” Just for science, ok? Yeah, sure, Lexa, whatever floats your fancy.

“Definitely. That’s important, you know?” Oh, it definitely is.

“And have you?”

“Eager to know, aren’t we?” She smirks.

“No. It’s fine. It’s not like I have seen it. I mean, not seen it , seen it, I have, like in the movies, like everybody else, as a whole with the scene, nothing more… whatever” her grin grows bigger and I start to feel the warm of my red cheeks. Clarke gets closer and brushes her fingers around my ears murmuring something about tiny and cute. Excuse me, missy, they are not tiny nor cute, thank you very much.

“Anyway” — I say trying to regain some… ? “I bet it’s one hell of a job. Imagine how their resume looks like? Profession: Jennifer Lawrence’s bottom.” I state dreamily.

“Actually, Jen does her own ass work. Why wouldn’t she? It’s delicious.” Clarke states with her face stuffed in whipped cream from the waffles.

“Are you talking about the waffles you just demolish or Jennifer’s butt?”

“Oh, I can do both”

* * *

After dinner we are about to start a marathon on Netflix. I let her choose first and she picks Lucifer because she says she is a sucker for British accent and I do not blush at all, nope. Clarke cuddled with her head resting on my lap. After a while, I can’t help to start brushing softly her hair and only when I hear Clarke purring I jump from my own thoughts and realize what I’ve been doing, so I retract my hand. But the blonde slips a little whine and I crave and caress her hair again. I really love her soft blonde curls. So gay.

“We should make some popcorn!” Clarke happily says, and before I can even answer she gets up and runes to the kitchen to start opening every unit. I chuckle because it amazed me how carefree and comfortable she’ve gotten in a few days. There’s nothing in common between the woman who knocked on my door and the one fighting to open the box of popcorn with a peek of the tongue out and a very concentrated face. She is a woman on a mission.

“Do you need some help over there, darl— *scoff*?” Almost. She doesn’t seem to notice what I was about to say or if she does, she dismisses it.

“No wuckas! I have everything under control, you just stay there and let me take care of this”

Uh?

“Ok!”

After a few minutes she is back with a big bowl of popcorn and some more wine. “Damn, Griffin, more wine? Are you trying to get me drunk tonight, miss?” Sometimes is like there are two different people inside me. I really like this one, the sassy one, unfortunately, she only comes out every once in a while, the rest of the time it’s just useless, shy, Lexa. Clarke playfully slaps my shoulder and sit on the couch, well, practically on my lap, resting the bowl on her lap and gifting me with a childishly smile.

“Are you implying Mss. Woods, your self drunk would be interested in something?” Uhm… sober me too.

“No in the least, Griffin. Please.”

She wipes a fake tear and says “You are breaking my heart, and here I thought you were the one taking choices with her heart and not her head.” The sweetest pout I ever see adorn her face. I lean a bit more and chewing my lip I lower the voice, “I know exactly what you are trying to do here, Clarke.” Double fist pump because now I am seeing exactly the reaction I was asking for. Clarke eyes drift to my lips for a second. The blonde really seems in some kind of trance when, with a husky barely noticeable voice she whispers, “And what is it, Lex?” I lean toward her and after a strategic pause…“Trying to distract me in order to pick the next movie — I break our staring and go back to my sit- “and it’s not going to work, Griffin. Next one is my choice, The Blacklist! Yeah!” She groins and grabs a bunch of popcorn messily smashing them on my mouth murmuring something about ‘hate’. Point and game to Lexa, muahahaha. I will suffer the consequences later but boy it was worth it

After a few episodes, we realize it’s almost two in the morning and decide to call it a night. “Time to go to bed. Well, sofa-bed in my case” she smiles and nods. After a pause she leans forward and kisses my cheek gently just an inch apart from the corner of my mouth. I stay put not knowing how react and Clarke walks up the stairs wordlessly.

* * *

_Tic toc_

_Tic toc_

_Tic toc_

2:45 am: I am mapping the ceiling of my living room for the tenth time.

3:15 am: I lost track of how many times I move the duvet back and forth. Duvet on… Hot. Duvet off, cold. Duvet on with a foot outside, uhm… not bad.

3:30 am: 1 sheep… 2 sheep… 124 sheep. That’s a lot of sheep. If I were rich I’d move to the countryside. Definitely better for my sheep. And dogs. I’m wondering if Clarke is a cat or a dog person. OMG I’d be The Lord of the Sheep. The lesbian of the sheep? Commander of sheep?

3:55 am: Ok, this is ridiculous. I am getting up. I am doing it. Woman up, Woods.

_I get up off the sofa. Pause._

_Sit on the side of it. Pause._

_Get up again. Pause._

Then, the stairs are cracking… God, it’s happening. TAKE A CHILL PILL LEXA.

“Hello…”

“Raven?”

“… It’s me, I was wondering if after all these hours you'd like to eat?” I groan at her. At me. At Adele and at my shitty situation.

“Geez, don’t be so happy to see me. Were you expecting somebody else, Commander? Maybe a certain blonde, perhaps?” The Latina drifts around the corner, half-naked, because why not, and sits on the couch.

She continue her monologue, “Commander sheep from now on, yes I heard you, idiota, listen up. I don’t want to interfere, but we both know that’s what I do. Anyway… where was I… hold on—“ she grabs a Kit Kat from her sneakers (seriously?) and after a few bites continue her speech— “the blonde from upstairs split up with her boyfriend, that’s right, isn’t it?”

“Maybe. I think so…” I doubt, because well, she didn’t exactly say ‘I’m single’; even tough It seemed implied.

“And she is in your house. In your bedroom. In your bed.”

“Yes…”

“And last week you have been getting on quite well…”

“I suppose”

“Well, isn’t this perhaps the perfect opportunity to… you know, fall in your bed?”

“For God’s sake! Raven! How can you be that insensitive? She’s in trouble. Going through a rough patch!!! Get a grip!” I whisper-roar at her. After the stories Clarke told me, the last thing I want to do is make a move like that. She will think I am just like everybody else!

“Right, right. She is going through a shitty time. You think it’s the wrong moment. Fair enough. But let me tell you something… how can you be that blind?? Esa chica te está poniendo las largas!!!”

_Wait, what?_

“Raven, back to English!”

“Idiota!”

“I am not idiota. Tu idiota!”

“Stop, Pocahontas.” — she ‘talk to the hand’ me— “Listen, last week, the movie nights, lunches, dinner, the tea parties… she might not be at her best right now, but she’s been hitting on you like no tomorrow!!”

“What? NO!”

“Yes. Hitting on you. Flirting. Openly”

“She’s just a very touchy person”

“She ain’t touching me and I’d really like that. But if you want to keep the blind side, ok, from now on I’ll call you Lexa Bullock and I’ll gift you a fucking canary for your birthday. Buenas noches.”

4.30 am. How many sheep I had last time?

Again, soft footsteps on the stairs… Geez, there she is again pissing me off or stealing food from the fridge!!! And they say I am the freaking raccoon!!!

“Oh, please, not again” I whisper, “back off and go to sleep!!!” I say a little bit louder.

“Ok. I’m sorry…” a raspy voice says as a shadow turns in one shift move. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dialogues between Lexa and Raven are always so funny to write. 
> 
> Again, sorry for any mistake (proofreaders/beta please help a sister) and please don't hesitate to comment about your favorite part, character, etc. Kudos are always appreciated, free pizza too. 
> 
> G'Night Siri.


	9. Different Perspectives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. Sorry for the delay. I dislocated my shoulder last Tuesday and let me pull a Lexa *it hurts*. I had this chapter already edited so lucky you. I don't really know when I'll post the next one, I'll try my best (a week perhaps?).

_Previously..._

_Again, soft footsteps on the stairs… Geez, there she is again pissing me off or stealing food from the fridge!!! And they say I am the freaking raccoon!!!_

_“Oh, please, not again” I whisper, “back off and go to sleep!!!” I say a little bit louder._

_“Ok. I’m sorry…” a softy voice says as she turns in one shift move._

_“NO! No. Wait… Not you!”_

* * *

Chapter IX: Different Perspectives

I quickly set up on the couch, “I… thought you were someone else” she looks a bit confuse. “I thought you were Raven…” she lifts her eyes a bit surprise when I realise… “No, I mean, she just was here… talking nonsense, that’s why I said ‘back off’. But you are not Raven. I mean obviously. I…” and there’s Lexa rambling Woods again. Clarke chuckle softly. “ I am… delighted you’re not, I mean. That you are you, Clarke.” Ok. You. Need. To. Stop. Now.

She embraces herself and shyly says, “ I like the way you say it”

Uh? I must look confused. 

“My name… I like the way you say my name.”

She approaches me but refuses to meet my eyes. Once we are closer, she lifts a bit her shin and when we found each other we smile. Almost shyly, but taking steps to acknowledge the chemistry between us. Something perhaps easier to do in the darkness of the living room.

I shakily caress her cheek. My mouth feels like the Sahara and my heart threat me to run away from the ribcage. Clarke is looking at me intensely with eyes I know will be the death of me. Those bright baby blue eyes screaming with something I can’t quite place… I realize that, after what happened between us, Clarke might be a bit scared to take the lead again and even though she’s still frozen in her feet, her eyes are pleading me. So I close the gap between us slowly enough to give her the opportunity to back off and give her a small kiss that lingers a bit longer at the end when I nip her lower lip.

Something _clicked_ and we both know it.

So, after a few seconds, we kiss again and when I gathered all the courage I can, I softly slip my tongue asking for permission. And the permission is granted quite quickly. Her arms go around my neck and mines go to her hips, in a smooth movement. Like we’ve been doing this for years. Hell, for a lifetime. We change the pace, and despite our kisses started sweet and tentative, they grow heavier. Her fingers trough my hair, marking softly her nails on my scalp… and we both start to have serious trouble to control our breathing, our hands, our tongues, and our hips…

A battle going back and forth for dominance. A war we are both wishing to win and to lose at the same time. I was so ready to combust just with this I was embarrassed. Suddenly, the blonde breaks the kiss and I sense her breath going across my jaw leaving small open kisses on her way to nip my earlobe. I am unable to focus on something aside from Clarke's tongue and Clarke’s breast pressed against mine.

I want this. Hell. I want so much more than this. I don’t think is a good idea to continue this in the middle of the living room.

“Raven could be back in any moment” I weakly said.

Clarke refuses to acknowledge that and keep mapping my neck. Not that I am complaining because my hands go up and down her ribcage and I am deliciously turn on. But after a particularly louder moan I compose myself and try again, “Clarke, wait!” She stops, put a few inches between us, ok one inch, and licking her swollen lips asks still breathless, “is something wrong? Aren’t you… I mean, you don’t want this…?”

“We should take this to a private place” so I place my hand on her upper tights and with a soft thud she clings to me with her legs around my waist. Our way upstairs takes a little more time than usual. Once in my room, it seems the rush from moments ago has passed, and we go back to the sweetened slow pace from the beginning. A kiss in her neck. Her shoulders. And caresses that map her body up and down. What a miracle is just to be able to touch this girl. Then we lock our eyes like we are suddenly struck by who it is o better yet, what we are allowing to others to see. Perhaps, it might help the dark. 

“You are… beautiful”

Clarke stops in her track, “What?”

“You. *kiss in her jaw* Are *kiss in her eyelid* Beautiful *kiss in her nose*”

And after a few seconds, suddenly the fire is back and the blue eyes I’ve grown to adore are gone and replace it with hunger. We sit on the bed and Clarke quickly straddles me with a knee at each side of my waist. She takes off her shirt and her bare chest is now in front of me. I lost it. Adeus.

“My eyes are up here.” She gasps with feigning indignation. I only manage to nod too afraid to show I might have lost my voice. She leans to me and after a wet, slow and sensual kiss she goes to my ear and whispers, “You know, you can touch them… in fact…” and takes my hands to her boobs. The soft of her skin and the hard of her nipples seem to wake me up and after a slow blink, I’m all over her again.

I manage to flip us and Clarke throws her head back and smile, “You don’t strike me as a top, but I let you lead for a while…” Despite I should be a bit offended, Ok no actually because I am in bed with a goddess, I still am too lost in the sound of her laugh. It shocks me when I realize it was probably the best sound I had heard in my life.

I start to worship her body. _Inch_ by _inch_. Taking special considerations with her chests because they are fucking amazing.

_Nipping._

_Biting._

_Kissing._

_Licking._

“God, Lex, could you please stop teasing me, I assure you, I am so fucking ready, baby” I fucking melt with her pleading tone and the pet name.

“Patience, darling”

After a few minutes, I believe I've dedicated enough time to her upper side. I release a nipple with a wet pop and Clarke is a mess. A very loud guttural moan make me take pity of the blonde and I finally decided to go down treating her with wet kiss across her nave, hip bones, and inner tights, “Lex, you better stop with the teasing or I’m finishing by myself!” She commands bucking her hips desperately searching some friction. I chuckle because grumpy Clarke is adorable and funny but also hot. So, I take off her panties and place my mouth where she wanted the most.

We pleasure each other, with soft caresses, tenders kisses, wild tongues and devoted fingers _over_ , and _over_ , and _over_ again... until our backs are scratched with our nails and our bodies with bites and kisses. Long ago was lost our voice growing tired after the moans, the pants, the little screams and the times we yelled each other’s name...

* * *

“You know, it still strikes me as, well, surreal, that I’m allowed to see you naked” I amuse in the morning. When I woke up a few minutes ago, I was surprised by a sleepy Clarke, slightly snoring clinking to me like a freaking koala. 

“You and every person in this country” she chuckles.

"Cheeky"

"That I am... C'mere, gorgeous" 

* * *

She’s still tangled to me after our last round, we lay on our side, face to face, still sweating and her fingertips go around my back mapping my tats. My body is sore and for the few bruises and hickes I can see in Clarke’s body I assume mine has some as well.

“What is it about the people with nudity? Particularly with breast… ” She inquires.

“Well…”

“No seriously. I mean, I love a nice body too, but they’re just breasts. Every second person in the world has got them…”

“More than the half, actually, when you think about it, a lot of men got boobies. I bet your president got more boobs than some women.”

“I don’t think Scott Morrison got a lot of boobs." The actress says with a nonchalant attitude. "Seriously, what’s the fuss about…?”

“Actually, I’m not quite sure. Let me just have a quick look…” I look under the sheet at her breasts and feign been deep in thoughts.

“No, beats me. Besides, you might not be crazy with breast, but you are surely a bit obsesses with my abs and my butt” And Clarke laughs breathy and full, leaving my filled with adoration and warm.

"Now, who's cheeky?" 

I quickly grab her and put her on top of me with our faces separated by inches.

“You know, Rita Hayworth used to say ‘they go to bed with Gila and they wake up with me’. Do you feel that?” Clarke softly asks while I gently stroke my hand up down her bareback, feeling the two little dimples above the swell of her butt.

“Who was Gilda” 

“Her most famous work. Men went to bed with the dream and they didn’t like it when they woke up with reality. Do you feel that way with me?”

“No. You’re lovelier this morning than you have ever been in every single red carpet, movie or photo booth,” I say, looking at her eyes. The blonde trails off too shy with flushed cheeks and ears tinted with pink. After a few seconds, she looks at me carefully with her head tilted a bit and finally smiles and leaps out the bed.

“I’ll be back”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, no that I was counting, the door opens to Clarke with an old t-shirt from my drawer and underwear. She is carrying a tray with what I assume is breakfast.

“Breakfast in bed. Well, lunch or brunch. It’s noon already.”

“And whose fault is that”

“Yours” sitting next to me in bed, placing the tray and giving me a kiss to die for.

We start enjoying breakfast. I really love these waffles, not the kind of breakfast we usually have here, but they are pretty good. Clarke is picking a string of bacon with her hand, offering a bite to me, before shoving in her mouth what is left. After a few minutes enjoying breakfast and the comfortable silence I barely hear a whisper full of uncertainty.

“Can I stay a bit longer?”

“You can stay forever.”

Our smile is so big I bet her cheeks are starting to hurt like mine. Her eyes are glossy and suddenly we are acting like two teenagers too shy, too afraid and too insecure about how to act. At that moment, the doorbell goes. Clarke jump from the bed and says, “I’ll grab more coffee and you get the door!”

* * *

So, I got up, grab a t-shirt from the floor, I am not sure if would be impolite to open the door in t-shirt and boy short, but fuck it, it would be Raven with her hands full of food o yelling about misplacing her keys again. I head down the corridor and open the door. Outside are hundred of paparazzi — and an explosion of cameras, questions, flashes, lights… I got in shock for a few seconds and finally, I snapped the door quickly.

“Jesus Christ…”

“What” she peeks her head from the kitchen door without losing her smile.

“Nothing!” I say too quickly.

Clarke heads back to the corridor, with no suspicion but after scanning my pale face she says, “You’re up to something…” but she is still smiling and joking so she must believe I am fooling around with her. With a fast move, she crosses the corridor and opens the door. The same explosion. In a split of a second, she’s inside. Clearly, she is way better than me to handle this kind of situation.

Her face is pale, her breathing is elaborated and she is pacing like a madwoman in my small corridor.

“OH MY GOD. They got a photo of you dressed like that?” What is that supposed to mean? She is dressing exactly the same I am!

“Undressed like this, yes” I finally say.

“Fuck…” She quickly goes upstairs ignoring my attempts to call her, and after a few seconds, I can hear her shouting on her phone. Raven, of course, uses that moment to come downstair.

“Buenos días, darling ones” she does a thump up to me, clearly very excited to see I took ‘her advice’ last night. She takes a plate and starts to make breakfast for herself while I am standing in the middle of the kitchen debating the best choice between freaking out or having a cup of tea. I know, what you all are thinking, and let me tell you, tea makes everything better. If I made some tea for some presidents and senators they would be better politicians and the world would be a better place. Well, except Trump, we don’t have enough tea in the UK to fix that. Anyway, back to this big mess. Raven is left to her room after making herself two sandwiches way to big to any normal human. From the kitchen, I can hear Clarke shouting now in the living room.

“… Yes. It’s Clarke. The press is here. No, no, there are way to many, hundreds of them… Yeah, I know, ok? My brilliant plan was not so brilliant after all. Yes, mom, I know, whatever… just get me out then. Ok. Bye” she hangs up and mutters a ‘damnit’ under her breath before storming upstairs again. After a few minutes I decide to go upstairs. Clarke is already dressed and looks angry.

“How are you doing?”

Clarke scoffs and spats, “How do you think I’m doing, Lexa!?”

“I don’t know what happened” I speak with a calm voice hoping she can calm herself a bit.

Without sparing my a glance and still packing, “I do. Your furry friend thought she’d make a buck or two telling the papers where I was!”

“That’s not true. Raven wouldn’t do something like that” I say within a second.

“Really? The entire fucking British press just woke up this morning and thought ‘Hey! I know where Clarke freaking Griffin is. She’s in that house with a cranky blue door in Notting Hill. Let’s pay her a visit!’ And then, above all that crap, you go out in your goddam underwear!”

I take a deep breath, ok, maybe a few, because I can really start to feel a few things coming out and this is going to be messy and that’s exactly the last thing we need right now.

“I’m sorry I make the situation worst by opening the door in my underwear but I think you are forgetting that this is my house and I am not used to paparazzi's camping in front of my door. So, I apologize for being comfortable in my own damn house, it was never my intention, however, to spite you.”

But she is not listening she is just pacing like a bull in a china shop, “This is such a mess. I come to you to protect myself against crappy gossip and now I’m landed in it all over again. For God’s sake, I’ve got a boyfriend!”

“Do you?”

“As far as they’re concerned I do. And tomorrow there will be pictures of you in every single social media and magazine from here to Melbourne!”

“I know… but, just— let’s stay calm, we could have a cup of tea and talk this through.”

“You can stay calm!!! I don’t want a goddamn cup of tea!! it’s perfect for you, isn’t it!? Minimum input-maximum publicity. How long until you start receiving phone calls from your mates ‘ well done, Lexa, you banged that actress!’”

I gasp. Shocked. I felt like a totally lost the ability to speak. I just can’t believe what I am hearing. So I open and close my mouth like a fucking goldfish. But Clarke, on the other hand, has a lot to say…

“ Who knows! It may even help your business. Buy a boring book about the Grand Canyon from the woman who screwed Clarke Griffin!” And before I can snap she heads downstairs.

I quickly followed and as soon we are downstairs, she turns and spats, “ And remember, Raven owes you an expensive dinner or holidays that’s depending on how much money her brains got from this betrayal.” In the meantime, the doorbell goes and I lean thought the door peephole.

“Looks like a chauffeur” I quietly say.

Clarke is massaging her temples, breathing in and out clearly trying to calm down herself, about. Fucking. time.

“Listen Clarke” — I try again— “I know the situation right now looks awful for you. But this is crazy behaviour. The things you have said to me are not only crazy but also very disrespectful. But in comparison with what happened to other people, normal people, every single day, this is nothing. All I’m asking for is a normal amount of perspective and above all, I am asking you to respect the people who have taken you in a shitty moment.”

At this, Clarke looks the other way and for a moment seems a bit ashamed and regretful, “You know, you’re right. Of course, you are right. You have dealt with this for ten minutes and I’ve been doing this for ten years now. Our perspectives, Lexa, are different.”

“So what Clarke?!” — I raise my voice a bit— “ I mean, today’s news will be tomorrow’s waste.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, you know, it’s just one day.”

“You really don’t get it, do you? This story will last forever. Every time anyone writes anything about me, they’ll dig up these photos. 'Clarke Griffin spotted having an affair with a woman', to make it worse in this fucking homophobic world. Internet… last forever. I’ll regret this forever.” I let her words to sink. Ok. I take this in. Enough is enough.

“You know what? Right. Fine. I will do the opposite, I always will be glad you visited. I had a great time those past few days and I think they did good to you, despite you can’t see it right now. But also, I am glad because I had the chance to get to know what I thought was the real Clarke Griffin. Not quite sure if it was the real one, right now, but still worth it. I, for once, stand here and let myself to enjoy, laugh and to feel. And after all, I am not the one who needs to avoid talking to people face while talking. I am not the coward. And I am not certainly someone who doesn’t stand for myself and for my people, both insulted by you. So, yes, you’re right. You probably better go.”

The doorbell goes again so I open the door. A massive noise and a big bulky guy came inside, “Mrs Griffin, we need to go.” Gently grabs her driving her through the mass of people and flashes. Then I shut my cranky door.

* * *

I walked to my living room and I see Raven sitting on the couch with ice cream.

“I didn’t say anything,” she says sadly.

“I know. Now let’s share this pint and I grab the bottle of wine”

“Is it noon already?”

“It’s noon somewhere…”

“Ok, I share my food with you but only because I already text the gang and they are on their way with more food.”

And while I hear my friends happily chatting around a table full of goodies and too many bottles of wine I can’t help to think that I fell for a girl who would never love me back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke, Clarke... Lil' blabbermouth. 
> 
> I know I made a few changes with the movie but in my defense, I must say I'm not particularly fond of how the original character (William/Hugh Grant) is presented. I believe, even if you are a hopeless romantic and useless when it comes to relationships, everybody should have a bit more self-esteem.


	10. Books, Past and Coffee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. I'm really sorry for the delay but my shoulder still hurts like a bitch. No one told me a dislocated shoulder will knock my arm down for a least three weeks. I don't know how the commander did it in only ONE CHAPTER. She is so lextra.

_Previously..._

_And while I hear my friends happily chatting around a table full of goodies and too many bottles of wine I can’t help to think that I fell for a girl who would never love me back._

* * *

Chapter X: Books, Past and Coffee

Clarke was patiently waiting in the VIP lounge for a flight that should have taken off thirty minutes ago. She started wondering if she should take that as a sign. Should she come back to the lovely house with a blue door in Notting Hill? Was she too hard on Lexa? Of course, you were, idiot, that woman has opened her arms and the door of her house and you… well, you just acted like a prick.

So, after a few more minutes, she slowly got up and, luggage long forgotten, rushed outside the airport frenetically looking for a cab. Forty-five minutes later she was knocking Lexa’s door. When the brunette opened the door, Clarke said, ‘It’s you, it’s always been you. Please forgive me. I’m so sorry.’ Both of them closed the gap, stopped a few inches away, and Clarke finally took the lead and kiss her slowly.

I would LOVE to tell you that story, guys. Unfortunately, there was no rushing through the people shutting the other’s name in slow motion. She didn’t send me a note to meet at the top of the Empire State Building or knock my door with banners reminding me how perfect I am for her, and she definitely didn’t sing how many things she hates about me… And I really hope she is not waiting for twelve years to meet me again like Harry and Sally. Nope. Because this is not a rom-com.

* * *

_[Reading while listening ‘Ain’t no sunshine by Bill Whiters’]_

The summer brought new tropical fruits and beautiful flowers. Raven learned how to do the laundry, even though she was terrible and I lost most of my white t-shirts. And walking across my beautiful neighbourhood I saw a nervous Bellamy shoving me the picture of the child they were hoping to adopt. As a kept walking, the cold started to make me shiver and I turned up my coat collar. The rain started to fall and the umbrellas appeared. Around October, Jasper told us he was planning to move to Germany where a big offer had been presented and I was so happy to see him, finally, grinning like a five old years kid. As a kept walking around the corner, winter coats, chestnuts roasting, and big Christmas trees on sale made their appearance.

Around Blenheim Crescent, the snow presented me an incredible snowscape and by the time I reached one of my favourites cafes, the snow was melting bit a bit… before the coffee I bought got cold it was spring again and Echo was hosting a ‘welcome home Bobby’ party for the hopefully new member of the family.

It’s just the way it is. It rains. It snows. It’s warm. Someone fell in love today. Someone lost a lover and maybe the one sitting across that person just got graduated. The world doesn’t stop just because you are hurting.

* * *

One beautiful day of June, grey and cloudy because this is the UK, but still beautiful, I am at work with Lincoln trying to find the key to stop the chaos between all the news incomers books we receive two hours ago. A little bit after three my sister Anya, followed hot in her tails by Raven, enters the bookshop. At first, I’m concerned about Raven’s breathing thinking she is about to pass out but my sister seems to dismiss it and rushes to me waving her iPad in my face.

“ SQUID! I got—“

“ WE “ Raven corrects her.

“We got something for you. And I believe you’ll learn to love my even more after that — “

“ US “ Raven narrows her eyes.

“ Us. Learn to love us… Whatever Raven”

“Ok. Enough children. What’s that?”

“The phone number of Clarke Griffin agent in London. Well actually, it is like the assistant from the agent. ANYWAY, you can ring her. You are always mopping around like a lost puppy, like a child without candy, like British without tea, like Raven without food, like—“

“OK. I think she gets the idea” Lincoln adds. Thank you very much, Lincoln. 

“ The point is… “ — Raven joins the conversation— “you think about her all the time — now, you can ring her!”

“Well, I am not sure that’s a good idea…”

“Take. The. Damn. Posit. I see you tonight, squid! Bye Linc!”

As they rushed out I take a look at the piece of paper.

I could…

I fold it and place it gently in the garbage bin.

* * *

Tonight’s Octavia birthday and we are gathering in her restaurant. After banging a spoon on a wine bottle, the host starts, “I have a little announcement to make. I am not standing up because, fuck off, I am tipsy and those heels are killing me. A few years ago, I started the finest restaurant in London.” Everybody cheering loudly. “Thank you very much. Quiet, let me continue… — a long pause— Unfortunately, no one ever came to eat here.” —Now everybody yells buuuh!! We can’t handle our alcohol, well, we drank a lot, so maybe that’s not the problem, anyhow, back to O— “ Now, kidding aside, the restaurant is being done just fine, but honestly not as good as Linc and I expected. The more I think about things, the more I see no rhyme or reason in life” — now she is looking at every one of us…- “ no one knows why some things work out, and some don’t, why some of us get lucky, and some not. That’s why my handsome love here and I, had been thinking for a while to refocus our energy, strength, and money to something that really, really, get to us. Something enjoyable and definitely something that brings us together in different aspects and not the opposite. That’s why we are planning to close the restaurant and take a bit of time to travel. After that, we are likely to open a business together, something that has been in our mind for a while and we are really excited about, a fitness centre.

“Wow, Oh my God” half of the table is speechless. Ok. The whole table.

“Well, I am very happy for both of you. Honestly. I am not pretending to be shocked, well a bit because I wasn’t sure if you will be finally doing it, but, as Lincoln's employer, I was aware of the change of path. Anyway, I didn’t know what you guys wanted to do. A fitness centre is a perfect choice I believe. Both of you love it and it would allow you to spend more time together doing something you enjoy. Cheers to you!”

“CHEERS!” Everybody yells while hugging and congratulating the couple.

“Well, since tonight we are being honest. I got fire today.” The Latina says between bites of bread and cheese.

“No!!”

“Yes. They weren’t appreciating my spectacular brains. So, they're lost. It’ll take a few days to gather my resume. I have an old colleague, now a businessman, from my college days that always wanted me to make him a call. So, maybe it’s time for a change.”

Bellamy pats Raven shoulder, “I am very happy to hear that Raven. And of course my little sister and Linc will have all our support whatever and whenever they decide to start their new business. A toast for us, damn it!”

“Raven and I being dating for a few weeks”

“WHAT!!!!?”

“Calm your tits, beautiful people”

“I am going to kill you, Raven, you better run!”

“Ahh, locaaaa”

“Anya! I am your sister!! And I didn’t know anything about this. How’s that possible!? Don’t you trust me!!?”

“It’s something new and we are exploring and taking everything slow. Calm down, Lexa. I always tell you everything about me, and so do you, I just wanted a few weeks to figure things out.”

“Well, I am just saying” — Jasper says— “You, Lexa, are the only ones who didn’t make an announcement yet. Anything you want to share?”

“ I— I feel I own you an apologize to all of you for the behaviour I’ve been showing for the last months."

“That’s an understatement. You have been going from working, mopping at home to working out on repeat for months. I mean, your six packages are amazing, but there are dead people with a more exciting life.” Octavia says hoping to make a good wake up call without hurting my feelings.

As time goes by, we found ourselves getting more and drunker. Linc and O are playing ‘Heaven is a place on Earth’ with the guitar and some improvise drums. Raven believed she can sing and no one had the heart to tell her she actually can’t. So, she is singing at the top of the table. Whatever. Who am I to say no?

“I am quite far sober now. Thank God my parents took Bobby tonight. I really needed this” Echo utters drunkenly.

“So, Lexa, are you completely over the famous girl?”

“I am, Bell”

“So, you won’t care she is in fact back in London filming on Hampstead Heath for the following week.” Anya scrolls her Twitter showing me a picture of Clarke.

I gloom “Oh God no…”

“So, no thaaat over her “ Echo says.

_Whoopsie daisies_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update Wednesday to make up for the delay 😊  
> Thanks for the support, comments, and kudos I absolutely LOVE to hear from you! Please forgive my mistakes! Also, this story will likely be finished in 13 chapters, so only 3 left. After that, I am posting a new story👯  
> So, I am still in need of a Beta in my life! 🙏🏻


	11. Just a girl

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter with an iconic scene from the movie. Enjoy!

Chapter XI

Four days is all it takes me to finally woman up and decide to ‘casually’ swing over Hampstead Heath. Like, I could go anywhere, but here I am. Not quite sure If this is still a good idea. Probably the worst I had had since well, you all know since when.

Well, If I’m being honest, I normally visit Hampstead Heath once in a while. It’s beautiful and during Autumn season, for instance, one of my favourite spots. So, here I am, marching up the hill, when I get to the crest of it my mouth goes down the hill again seeing the huge film set. Hundreds of extras in front of the radiant white of Kenwood House (a must if you are in London), with its lawn and its lakes. As I am approaching the main house, I arrive at a barrier. Big guy security, I assume, approaches me.

“Can I help you, miss?” Big guy inquires. 

“Uh… Yes. I—“ I panic. Pause. Panic. Pause— “ I… I was looking for Clarke Griffin…”

Aren't we all, he seems to think, “Does she know you are coming to set?”

“No, she doesn’t”

“I’m afraid I can’t let you then, miss.” Like OBVIOUSLY, Lexa. Are you stupid? A huge film set full of stars and I was expecting to go inside like this is my damn house. Chill, Flo Lexa Rida.

“I mean, I am a friend of Clarke — I am not a lunatic but — you basically… can’t let you through.” he gives me an apollogicately look and crosses his arms. 

At that moment, a few yards away, a trailer is opened and out of it comes Clarke. She is looking stunning in blue fitted jeans, military boots and a leather jacket. Her make-up is on point and her hair has the ‘ I just wake up like this’ look, but fuck you are not, clearly, because is not fucking way you wake up like this if you don’t spend an hour taking care of your hair. Hollywood always making unreachable standards. It doesn’t make any sense… like those actress whose work in TV shows with zombies and have always the perfect smoothy hair style. It’s the end of the world not a Pantene commercial. Where was I? Uhm… ha! The blonde, now with pink tips, has a cluster of people around her. Hair, make-up, assistants… she walk a few steps followed by her small army and then casually turns her head.

Clarke locks eyes with me and after a few seconds, her face registers not just surprise, since her brow is furrowed. She is certainly taken aback about the situation and starts to chew the inside of her cheek. Well, since she’s apparently in shock I decide to take the initiative with a small wave. She stops and the small army stop with her. But then, slowly, she begins to walk thought the crew towards me, and the small army starts to walk again. When she reaches the barrier I can see she really doesn’t know what to say… and the security guy is looking at me suspiciously.

“This is… ah…” Well, well, well, has the cat got your tongue, Clarke. I feel like I need to justify why I am here.

“I only found out you were here yesterday” Well, four days ago. Tomato tomahto.

Clarke keeps chewing her cheeks and I am afraid she is going to bleed, “I… I, I was going to ring… uh… I didn’t think you’d want to, you know…” A long pause of five minutes, ok, five seconds, wait not, more like fifteen. Doesn’t matter, definitely a lot of time if you have a small army waiting on/for you. From nowhere, a guy with headphone, a walkie, phone and more coffees a human should carry comes trotting and starts shutting to the small army.

“Clarke, we are running late. Here’s your coffee. They need you in two in location seven. Please, everybody.”

The blonde looks around and notices the nervousness.

“Uh… Listen, we are out of schedule and… it’s our last day here.”

My ears turn pink in embarrassment. I don’t know who I think I am messing with the hard work of this small army, so I scratch the back of my neck and finally apologize, “Absolutely. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. Well, I wasn’t clearly thinking at the moment I decide to interrupt you at your place of work. I’m sorry. You clearly busy.” Clarke’s features softened at this and with a small apologetically smile she nods.

I start to turn to leave the set when she interrupts me, “Wait! Wait… There are things to say. Could you perhaps stay for a while? You can come inside… and—“ —Clarke is growing nervous— “ they have catering. Uhm, drink tea… there’s lots of tea.” From the small army, a young man signs me to follow him towards the set while Clarke goes the other way with four people touching her hair and her clothes.

“Hey, are you a fan of Ridley Scott?”

“This is a Ridley Scott film?” The guy looks at me trying to find out if I am messing with him. I am taken to another guy, “This is Victor Strand” and before I can say anything he’s left.

“Hello, dear, how’s your name?”

“Lexa. Lexa Woods”

“You have a badass name. I bet you are some kind of secret agent from MI6” he jokes with me trying to ease mine uncertainly. I politely smile to him. “Ok, Lexa, wear this pair of headphones so you can hear the dialogue, even they are quite far from here. Here you go, the volume control is on the side. They are going to film over there” and after a quiet ‘thank’ we graciously sit waiting for the crew and the actors.

I survey the scene… there are a lot of extras around the actors, acting like they are talking, yelling, laughing but actually quiet. They are muted with TV control, is kind funny. I spot Clarke, now in a position with her co-star— let’s call him John.

“We are living in cloudlkfivmjgksdf —- ahh!!! We’ll never get this done today” I hear John through the headphones.

“We have to. I’ve got to be in New York on Thursday” Clarke says.

“Oh, stop showing off— he stops talking and studies closely an extra a few yards to their right— “God, that’s a fucking great arse.”

I can hear Clarke rolling her eyes, “I’m not listening…”

“No, seriously, you must admit, that girl over there has an arse she could perfectly share with a least another two women— I so call dibs in that” Suddenly I’m not very comfortable with the path the conversation is taking no because John likes big arses…

“Don’t be a prick and stop treating women like pieces of meat.” I listen and laugh, that’s my girl. No, wait… I mean, that’s fine. In the mean time, Clarke seems to read the lines again with John, “So, I ask when you are going to tell everyone and you say…?"

“Tomorrow at 05:00”

“And then I—“

“Hey, who was the chick that rather a difficult chap you were talking to on the way up” he inquires curiously. 

“Oh… no one… no one… Just some—one from the past. I don’t know what she’s doing here. Bit of an awkward situation.” I smooth my lips and exhale a small sight. Of course. There’s no point staying here. I took the initiative to talk again after the way she left or better yet, the things she said when she left, and this is what I get. I thought, after a year, wearing the big girl pants was in order, but I guess not everyone deserves or worth that. Different perspectives aren't enough, after all. 

“Thank you, Mr Strang, I should go.”

“Anytime, dear. Hey! Don’t listen to people’s bittering. My ‘Mama used to say take it in your stride’” he sing-song after giving me a wink and a sweet smile. I nod and left.

The moment of hope is gone. I couldn’t have had a clear reminder.

* * *

And here we are another Tuesday at work doing the accounts in my dark small office.

Linc pops his head in and shapely says, “You know I hate to disturb you when you are with the books, but there’s a delivery.”

Accounting Lexa is very grumpy, “Linc, can’t you just deal with this yourself?”

“It’s not for the shop, Lex, it’s for you” I groan again and finally get up following him to the store. As soon I enter I can smell a missed unique fragrance, a mix between vanilla and candy sweet. Clarke stands there in simple blue jeans, red flannel and Dr Martens. Urgh, I hate how good she looks.

“Hi” the actress took the initiative.

“Hey”

“You disappeared”

“Yes — I’m sorry — I had to leave…. I didn’t want to disturb you at your workplace”

“Well… how have you been?”

“Well, Same old, same old. I am nothing out of extraordinary. Work and books, dinner with my mates, long walks, movie nights… Whereas you… I’ve watched in wonder. Red carpets, awards, the full glory…” I say with a small hint of sarcasm, ok, no that small.

“Oh… it’s all nonsense, believe me. So…” — Clarke is really nervous and starts playing with the hem of her flannel— “yesterday was our last day filming and so I’m just off— but I, I brought you something from my home back in New York, and..” — for the first time I seem to notice a big wrapped parcel, flat with 3 foot by 4 foot, leaning against the counter— “Anyway, I thought I’d give it to you.”

I am speechless because of 1. She brought me something from the USA which means she thought of seeing me before my visit the other day and 2. I wasn’t certainly expecting a gift from her.

“Uh… Thank you. Shall I…?”

“NO” — she jumps with wide eyes— “I mean, no, please, don’t open it yet, I’ll be embarrassed”

“Ok. Well, “Uhm… ok, I don’t know what it is, but thank you.”

“I… had it in my loft, back in New York, and I, I just thought you’d… but I— “ suddenly the actress stops her rambling and begins muttering under her breath ‘Fuck, Griffin, get it together, damn it’. She turns around once, twice and faces me again. “I didn’t know how to call you… having behaved so… so… badly and shamefully, twice. So, it’s been just sitting in my hotel, welcoming me every day I came after work, remind me how coward I am and basically mocking me. But then… you came, so I figured… the thing, you know… uh, the thing is…” Oh my God, is really painful seeing somebody literally struggling like that.

“What’s the thing?”

There’s nothing powerful about the blonde right now, she is nervously bitting her lips… She puts her hands in her back pockets in order, perhaps, to make them stay put and after a very long pause, she takes a deep breath…

“The thing is… I have to go away tomorrow night but I wondered… if I didn’t, whether you might let me see you a bit… or… a lot, maybe? See if we could, you could, like like me again…” No one deserves to suffer that much, but neither did I these past months.

“But yesterday… when you were talking to John and he asked you who I was… you just dismissed me out of hand. I was no one, somebody from the past that came back to make things awkward…” after the confusion trying to figure out who I was talking about, yep, I forgot I named him John, but his name perhaps was different, the colour was drained from her face, “yes… I heard you — you had a microphone, as you know, but I also had headphones…” I calmly say. This is the mask of Heda my friends mock around all the time.

She takes a pause and smoothes her lips, her head slightly tilted and staring at the package she brought. “Lexa, you expect me to tell the truth about my private life to one of the most indiscreet men in Hollywood?”

Before I can say anything, Linc came from the back, “Excuse me, Heda, it’s your mother on the phone.”

“Can you tell her I’ll ring her back?” I absolutely love my mom but she always has perfect timing. It drives me up the wall! 

“I actually tried that already. But she said that you said that before… Also, she’s Indra, I can just say no”

“Ok. Perfect timing as ever. Can you please hold the fort for a second, Linc, I’ll be back in a second” I say looking at Clarke.

I left them in what seems to be the most awkward reunion of the year. While taking with my mum, who basically was complaining about the little time she sees their children, I take a peek of the couple outside. Lincoln, normally a teddy bear, wears a frown and make himself busy in order to avoid Clarke. The blonde looks like she wants to jump out of the window. I finish the conversation (one side conversation) with my mother and decide to come back and put them out of their misery.

Once I came back, Linc excuses himself and left again, “Sorry about that”

“That’s fine… it was a great cliffhanger. So, is the jury considered its verdict?”

“Clarke… Look, I… I don’t really know what to say” —what I want is to express what I feel without hurting each other— “… Can I just say ‘no’ to your kind request and leave it at that?” Part of me can't help seeing, through those sad blue eyes, how part of her heart cracks. Perhaps, was my own heart.

The blonde painfully swallow and after clearing her throat adds, “… Yes, yes, that’s fine… Of course. I… you know, of course. I’ll just, be going… Uh, nice to see you.”

But, I feel deep inside me I must explain myself. Despite she has made mistakes, she has also apologize, and… I can really see her pain. “The truth is… with you, I’m in real danger. You are, you are SO much, SO out of my world that I feel I am at risk of be killed by a stray bullet at any moment. The situations we have been are the perfect example, apart from that foul temper of yours… and I, I have jumped for you before, you know? But my relatively inexperienced heart can’t catch out with the phenomenon Clarke Griffin is, again. I fear, not recover if I was once again… cast aside, which I would absolutely expect to be. There are too many pictures, too many films, too many ‘too many's’. And in the end, you’d go and I’d be… well, buggered, basically.”

Clarke is speechless but, at the same time, I can see understanding coming from her eyes.

“I see… That reality is a real ‘no’, isn’t it?”

“Look... I live in Notting Hill. You live in Beverly Hills. Everyone in the world knows who you are. My mother still changes my sister’s name with mine. You are worldwide trending topic weakly. I was informed what ‘trending topic’ meant a few months ago. You life consist of a hectic schedule with a passport full of stamps and galas. I can barely maintain my little bookshop open...”

“Okay. Fine. Fine. I see it. Good decision” Clarke barely whispers and nodding in understanding. After a not very comfortable pause, “The fame thing… isn’t really real, you know?” She trails off from one side to another with a big brow furrowed. After another long pause, she takes out the hands from her back pocket and hugs herself. And she looks so small, so sad, and lost I can’t help to feel captivated.

Clarke finally rises her head and lock eyes with me, after what it appears a gathering of strength, then, very softly continues with a small but determinate voice… “The fame ain’t real" -- she repeats like a mantra-- "And at the end of the day... don’t forget… I’m also _just a girl_. Standing in front of a girl. Asking her to _love_ her.”

She lets her words sink and gives me a small kiss on the cheek, a soft ‘bye’, before leaving the bookshop. All I know is, I stand there, speechless once again and with blue baby eyes printed in my retina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments, kudos, etc., please let me know what you think! I really hope you enjoyed the chapter. New update ,a really funny and cute one, + a little surprise next week.


	12. Gimme some lovin’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's only one chapter left which I promise will be the perfect wrap for this beautiful story. I really hope you enjoy this one, it was hilarious and cute moments.

_Previously..._

_“The fame ain’t real. At the end of the day, don’t forget… I’m also just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Asking her to love her.”_

_She lets her words to sink and gives me a small kiss on the cheek, a soft ‘bye’, before leaving the bookshop. All I know is, I stand there, speechless once again and with blue baby eyes printed in my retina._

Chapter XII: Gimme some lovin’ 

The following day to Clarke’s visit, the gang is gathered in Octavia’s restaurant, now closed and in the middle of being deconstructed. I told my friends everything that happened yesterday with Clarke and opened the package she left for me. The night before I tried to open it a few time but I just couldn’t. I was afraid of what could be, of what could mean… Anyway, with a few bottles of wine, even though is lunch time, I told my story and they patiently listened to me.

“So… What do you think? Good move?”

My sister is the first one to come to me rescue, like always, “Good move: when all is said and done. There’s so much a person should take in. She might be a great actress with a killer body but that doesn’t give you a free pass to screw things over and over.” That’s how Anya is, if you are in her side, good for you, if you screw it, you better run for your life.

“She certainly is quite charming, what’s more, she might be a great girlfriend for someone over there, but the situation you were caught was extremely difficult. I’d say, good decision, Lexa.” Echo says.

I gain some confidence, “Gustus, what do you think?”

“Never met her, never want to”

“Brilliant. Bell?”

“Absolutely. Never trust someone who doesn’t like guinea fowl.”

I am about to say something when the door is harshly opened and Raven comes inside panting, “I was called and I came. What’s up? Is there any food?” Before she ends the sentence, she grabs a plate of pasta.

Anya fills Raven with the news, “Lexa has just turned down Clarke Griffin” Ok. When you say it like that it sounds _awful_.

“¡PERO QUÉ IDIOTA ERES!” The Latina yells with wide eyes.

Octavia dismisses the Latina with a small wave. Then, her attention is dragged to the painting that sits beside me. A fucking Chagall. But no any Chagall. The fucking Le Mariée with the fucking goat playing a fucking violin. All the memories from our days at home come to me like a movie I am watching from outside I can’t help feeling a bit empty. The gift from Clarke was the painting whose poster I had on my wall.

“This painting is the original, isn’t it? Octavia inquires.

“I think so” Linc, another lover of art like me, says.

Out of the blue, Jasper slowly asks, “But she said she wanted to go out with you?”

“Yes… sort of…” I'm kinda lost now.

“That’s nice…”

“What?”

“Well, you know, anybody saying that they want to go out with you, or that they want to have something with you… that’s nice.”

“It was sweet actually. I mean, I know she is an actress, for all I know she could have been doing an Oscar performance, but her eyes… she really was being honest. She said… that she might be as famous as can be… but also… that at the end of the day she was just a girl, standing in front of a girl, asking her to love her.”

They _take_ in the line.

They _sunk_ in the line.

It totally _reverses_ their attitudes.

A long pause and everyone is lost in our own world.

I bury my face in my hands. FUCK. Bollocks. Shit. I finally decided to address the elephant in the room, “I’ve made the wrong decision, haven’t I? All of us look at Raven who’s calmly eating a muffing as she mutters, “idiots” while pointing to all of us with her finger.

* * *

“Bell! How fast is your car?” But he doesn’t answer me, just rush out. Two minutes later a sudden braking in front of the restaurant and Bellamy is on his car waving us to rush inside. Octavia, Linc, Gustus and Echo stay behind but when we are about to leave, Bellamy snaps his head to the back seat surveying for something.

“Where are the others?”

“They are not coming. There’s not space” Jasper says.

“Sod that! Gustus in the back with Linc! Ladies, fix it whatever you can, we are leaving in fifteen seconds!”

As Bellamy is shouting orders to everybody as he works for Ferrari, the small Mini Cooper starts to look more and more, well, mini. Bellamy and I in the front seats, Octavia sitting in Echo’s lap, Raven in Anya’s and Jasper in between barely breathing, with Linc and Gustus in the trunk. Luckily for them, Bellamy lost the cover last summer.

_Too many_ people.

Like _way_ too many people.

In fifteen seconds, Bellamy Hamilton Blake speeds up.

“Where are you going?” Echo inquires.

“Down Kensington Church Street, then Knightbridge, then Hyde Park Corner."

Everybody start shutting at the same time.

“Crazy. Go along Bayswater…”

“You could go to Cromwell Road and left…”

“No, it way better the second to the right…”

“Bayswater and Park Lane”

“At rush hour it will take us forever, it’s better…"

Suddenly the car slams to a halt. “ _I_ _am_ driving. _I_ will decide on the route. All right?!” Everybody says quietly, “All right” Bellamy looks a little overwhelmed with the situation but quickly spare us a glance and makes a curt nod, “James Bond never has to put up with this sort of shit!”

After that, we all seem to accept who’s in charge of driving. We arrive at the outside of the Ritz in record time and unharmed, regardless of the illegal turn across Piccadilly that ended up going down a one-way street. As soon the car stops I jump out of it and run, I can feel my friends chasing my tail into the hotel.

* * *

Once inside we realise we need to calm down a bit, well, this is the Ritz, and we just came inside like the bulls of San Fermines. Everything is classy and fancy and we were drinking cheap wine in sweet an hour ago. As soon I approach the front desk I almost demand, “Is Miss Griffin here?” My bloody luck, the same guy from my telephone call seems to be working together. _Monty Greene._

“No, ma’am” he politely says. This is not the end!

“How about Miss Flintstone?”

“No, ma’am” Again.

“Elsa?” I am not letting go.

He shakes his head, “No, ma’am.”

“Right. Right. Princess Jasmine? Ariel?” At one point, Raven, Anya and Echo had started to recited every single Disney female character but Monty only looks at us sadly. When we are about to turn and give up, Monty takes two steps toward me and shush, “There was a Miss Pocahontas in room 126 — but she checked out our ago. I believe she’s holding a press conference at The Savory before flying to America.” I can’t fucking believe what I am hearing, so I place my hands on the counter, jump and give him a one kiss in each cheek. Jasper jumps too and gives him a small peck on the lips, wow, I didn’t see that one coming. The girls wave at him gratefully and Raven says something along the line ‘I knew I wouldn’t have to make you boom’. One way or another, I’m not sure how they respond because we are already trying to fix again in Bellamy’s car.

* * *

The car speed through London when we get totally stuck at a junction where no one will let us in.

“We are not gonna make it!” Echo rolls her window down and starts shutting at the cars.

“That’s it!” Octavia happily says, “everybody out! Those fuckers are stopping for us!”

“Hell yeah, Clexa ship will sail!”

“What, Raven?” I have no time to react because, in one second, Linc, Gustus, Octavia and Raven are in the middle of the road. They stop the traffic coming from the opposite direction and ignore the cars shooting past at them. Once, Bell has a spot to get in, the team start to yell, “GO, GO, GO!!!” We leave them behind, but we definitely will come back for our warriors.

Once we reach the Savoy I leap out with Anya, Echo and Jasper and quickly rushed up to the main desk. “Excuse me, where’s the press conference?”

“Are you an accredited member of the press, miss?”

Uhhh… about that, “Yes, Miss Maya, here is, thank you.” You can go anywhere if you are polite.

After a flashed my card, the girl says “Miss, I am afraid that’s an Amazon gift card.” Well, maybe not anywhere. 

_Uh_. What now, think Woods! 

“She’s with me”

“And you are, ma’am?”

“Anya Wood, from Trikru Associates. I’m writing an article for Community Legal”

Are you, Anya, are you?

“Of course, ma’am. It’s in the Azgeda Room. I’m afraid you’re very late.”

* * *

I run like a madwoman, searching for the right salon and, of course, the last one of twelve freaking rooms is Azgeda’s. The room is huge and is full of press. Row after row of journalists, cameras, phones, tablets and TV cameras at the back. After finding a spot quite far from the front room, I find her. Clarke sits at the table beside her mother/agent, and the woman from the hotel interview day that wanted me to continually follow her. What was her name?

“Yes… you — Dominic for Entertainment Weekly”

“How much longer are you staying in the UK?”

“No time at all. I fly out tonight” Clarke says. She seems slightly melancholic and the journalist took it as a sign that she will miss London.

Abby suddenly interrupt, “… Which is why we have to round it up now. Final questions, please.” She points to another journalist.

“Nia for Empire. Is your decision to take a year off anything to do with the rumours about Finn and his present leading lady?” She maliciously inquires.

Clarke, however, doesn’t seem to be affected by the question, “Absolutely not”

“Jackson for Fade In. So, do you believe the rumours?”

“It’s really not my business any more. We both parted our ways a long time ago. However, I will say, from my experience, the rumours about Finn… do tend to be true.” They love that answer and all scribble in their notepads, phones and tablets.

Next question comes from someone straight right next to me. “Murphy for CelebsNow. Last time you were here, there was some fairly graphic photograph of you and a young English girl — so, what happened there?”

“She was just a friend— and, I think we’re still friends.” She says giving nothing away. The woman whose name I can’t remember obsessed with me following her suddenly says, “You, the one with the green and orange t-shirt, next question.” Pointing at me.

_Oh._

_Crap._

_Breath._

Remind your days from a successful journalist, “Uh… Yeah…” Now, Woods, it would be the perfect bloody moment to say exactly what you wanted to say while running in F1 around London. “Uh… sorry? Uhm…. Miss Griffin… are there any circumstances in which you two might be, perhaps, more than just friends?” Clarke seems to find my voice ‘familiar’ and look up, it takes her a few seconds but I can’t blame her since I see the lights pointing to the main table. Once she recognises me and despite she keeps a straight face I see a tiny spark in her bright baby blue eyes.

“I hoped there might be… but no, I’m assured there aren’t.”

“And what would you say—“

“Sorry” Mrs Griffin interrupts, “only one question per persona”

Clarke, however, seems to disagree with the little interruption, “No, let her… ask away. You were saying…?” Suddenly very interested in an interview that ten minutes ago seemed boring as hell for her.

“Yeah, I mean, I just wondered whether if it turned out that this… person…”

“Her name is Woods” another journalist informs me for good measure.

“Thanks” I reply to him before looking again to the main table, “I just wondered… if this Mrs Woods realized she’s been an idiot and begged you to reconsider, whether you would… reconsider?” My throat dry as hell I can assure I have never been so nervous in my life.

A stony silence descends the room. The journalists start to look back and forth between Clarke, her agents and me.

Finally, Clarke answers with a bare whisper while biting her lips nervously, “Yes, I’m pretty sure I would…”

“That’s very good news. The readers of ‘The Botanical Register” will be absolutely delighted.” I am beaming like a child and when I look at Clarke I see she is, more timidly, mirroring me. Then, the actress leans to her mother and whispers her something. Mrs Griffin seems to disagree and tries to talk down her daughter but Clarke shakes her head categorically.

“Dominic for Entertainment Weekly would you mind asking your question again…?”

“Yes, ma’am. Clarke, how much longer are you staying in the UK?”

_Dead silence._ But, there’s a silent conversation between two women and an imperceptible nod.

“Indefinitely.”

Thousand of flashes erupt and every single journalist in the room had gone crazy.

Clarke’s smile grows bigger, same as mine. Suddenly, the press starts to understand what’s going on and all the flashes start to focus on me too. I’m not sure if they know who I am. Honestly, I don’t care; all my attention goes to the beautiful blonde and the same it seems to happen with her. People around her try and fail to understand what just happened.

We just can’t get our eyes off of each other. And at one point, we can help to start laughing like two idiots. _In love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want a BETA in my life for my next story. Not giving up. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was quite fun to write the car scene. Despite I am not very fond of what they have done with Bellamy in the show (it's more how they are developing his character around the new ship, not the ship itself, which I knew it would happen since season one), I wanted to make a fun scene with the character in this story because I really like how he was at some point, not sure if you get what I am saying. 
> 
> Anyhow, see you next week! Please drop some kudos, comments, etc., letting me know what you guys think!


	13. Author’s Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's choose the next Clexa movie AU.

Hey mates,

I know we are not very fond of Author’s Notes, but there's something I’d love to know your opinion. I’ll be finishing this story next week with the last chapter, as you already know, so, I’m interested in knowing what you guys are craving for future fics. I’m sticking with movies and here I offer a few choices I like. You guys let me know right below which one you want to become a Clexa AU. As for when I'll be posting the new fic, after next week, I probably will take a short hiatus in order to let my shoulder rest and recover, so a few weeks. By then, I would like to have found a proofreader. Ehem, I need a volunteer! 

* * *

  * **The Notebook:**  
  
I am so sappy, I know, ok? Everybody knows what The Notebook is about. One of the most romantic movies EVER. I saw we have a Clexa fic from 2016 but only has one chapter posted. So, I guess is legit to want a complete version. The only thing I don’t quite see about this option is the fact that, well, the movie takes place in 1940 not a very gay-friendly decade or century and I always try to make the story believable, even if is fiction. However, at the same time, makes the love story more epic. Not my first choice, I must admit, but still a classic.  
  
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC6biTjEyZw>  
  


* * *

  * **The lake house:**  
  
I am also a sucker for drama. This is a more serious story but oh God, isn’t it perfect this movie for our Clexa? Sandra Bullock’s character for Clarke, because they are both sweet AND badass doctors, and Lexa Woods as Keanu Reeves character, a lonely architect hunted by the death of her/his lover. Disadvantage: the physical interaction between characters is minimal but is still SO BEAUTIFUL.  
  
  
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQ5lPbssHS8>  
  
  


* * *

  * **Wedding Crashers:**  
  
  
This one is my top choice, it’s not as sappy as the prior ones, which I can be good. I absolutely love this movie and lesbi honest Rachel’s character is Clarke and the sister, Raven, right? Period. On the other side, the ‘wedding crashers’ would be Anya and Lexa Woods. Abby as the Senator and Finn as the stupid Clarke's boyfriend again. I just see it.  
  
<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeUSo8voIXM>



  


* * *

  
  
‘Miss Congeniality’ was another option but I found that we have a fic from April 2019, and I don’t want to crash some mate’s fic, so, for now, I leave it out the list, along ’13 going to 30’. For another time, perhaps.  
  
  
So, which one you prefer and how do you think I should navigate the story, characters!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notting Hill will be completed next week.


	14. She

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter, I really hope you enjoy the epilogue.
> 
> It took a bit longer because I decided to re-edit the whole story from the beginning checking everything. I believe I have corrected many errors. Hopefully, the next fic will be writing with a Beta, so, it will be better.

_Previously..._

_“Dominic for Entertainment Weekly would you mind_ asking _your question again…?”_

_“Yes, ma’am. Clarke, how much longer are you staying in the UK?”_

_Dead silence._

_The hell is freeze._

_But, there’s a silent conversation between two_ women _and an imperceptible nod._

_“Indefinitely.”_

Chapter XIV: Epilogue

I can’t do this.

I am standing in front of the mirror barely blinking. I can hear people around me, but they sound as they were miles away from me, faintly.

“Lexa! Lexa! Come back to Earth, you idiot!”

A few seconds later, I feel my body coming back and my eyes focus on a pair of hands clapping in my face. Anya. As soon she sees I am listening, she comes back on me like a ton of bricks.

“Where the Hell were you, squid? I’ve been trying to catch your attention for the last ten minutes and you were just standing there, lost.”

“I’m sorry. I was just… you know, I couldn’t help to think about how Clarke and I… and you know, those past months. Everything. It has been a lengthy period of adjustment. I don’t know, Anya…” short version; I am panicking. I am sweating like a pig, swearing like a sailor and overthinking everything. Oh my God!

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist! Relax. What’s the matter? Baby steps, Lexa, you are a wonderful person but you have a big fat weaken when it comes to relationships, you just don’t believe in yourself. Listen to me because I won’t say this again, like ever, you are a catch, baby sister, and any woman would be and should be, so fucking lucky by your side—”

“Yeah… like Costia…” I hate myself right now.

“No, Costia was an idiot. I said any woman, not any idiot. Costia gave you, from the very begging a few signs, you just decided to ignore them, but for anybody else, the way she acted with some ‘friends’ in front of you would have been a red flag to a bull! One way or another, it does not matter anymore, what it matter is that Clarke is not Costia. In fact, your ex has nothing on Clarke. Your Aussie has proved how smitten she is with you, it’s disgusting! So, grow a pair and please get ready because you are going to be late at your own wedding! Not fashionable late, I mean, VERY late!” My sister ends the speech with a curt nod and turns around to finish dressing. I mean she is right, right? I know Clarke is not Costia but well when the only love you knew walked away you can’t help to be a bit insecure. Ok, very insecure. But, as I said, I can’t help it, it’s like my head messes, and it has the WORST freaking timing.

It has been ten months since the famous interview. Many changes were made, Clarke moved to London with me. At first, I felt bad because I didn’t want to jeopardize her career, but truth is, nowadays, actors can live anywhere, as soon they go to the specific place where the movie is filmed. So, Clarke moved here and we decided to stay at my house, which quickly becomes just home. She travelled to Vancouver for a few weeks to shot some film and during that time we Skype, call and text every day. It was, above all, a good test. In the end, we couldn’t wait to see each other again, but agreed that as far we communicate and put some effort into the relationship we could make it through.

Yet, here I am, my wedding day, kicking myself and full of doubts and ‘ifs’. Anya talked me into some sense, but I just need to see my favourite pair of baby blue eyes again. Octavia and Raven, who become quickly besties with Clarke, are going back and forth between my room and Clarke’s to make sure everything is right. Raven, who’s eating a burrito, assures me, my blonde is too quite excited and happy. Suddenly I hear a faint knock, and the girls go crazy.

“You can not be here, is back luck!!!”

“Yeah, I know, relax, I just wanted to talk to her… Lexa?? Baby??”

“Clarke!” I bin like an excited puppy. She does that to me, ok? No shame.

“I know we can’t see each other before the wedding, just a few words… Lexa, don't panic, relax baby, don’t you dare run away from me on our wedding day, everything will be fine. I love you, I’ll be the one in white! Muaa”

I have no words to explain the feeling I got when I first say Clarke walking down the aisle and green meets blue, everything will be in fact fine. The ceremony was wonderful, very simple and a few guests. We both decided to post a picture on her Instagram account to let her fans know, and actually, the response was very sweet.

Octavia, despite already has her brand and successful new fitness centre with Linc, was in charge of the catering and made our wedding cake. She was so proud, she stays beside the big pyramidal cake the whole time.

Raven managed to enjoy the ceremony without needing to ‘bomb’ anything. Truth to be told, she was too busy inhaling food and making in out with my sister. Gross.

Jasper tried to take my mother to dance but Indra wasn’t much for pleasantries. ANYHOW, when Gustus invited her she accepted! A story for another day I suppose.

Bell and Echo got a bit more than tipsy, thank God, Bob was, in all his cuteness, going from one side to another and dancing with everybody.

And Clarke… God, she was extraordinarily beautiful. An angel sent from heaven with a simple yet breathtaking white dress, “Come here, stud, I have plans for you and that perfect ass of you tonight.”

“Look, Clarke, they are playing ‘Thriller’!”

“Are you going to impress me with some dance moves? I must admit I am already a bit turn on with that white tuxedo, you’re cute, Mrs Griffin-Woods.” She definitely knows how to get me under the collar.

“I am not cute, Clarke, I am sexy,” I say when I make a flashy little move. My wide smile softly and grabs my hands to get me closer.

“That you are” she whispers on my neck.

* * *

“Are you sure you are going to be alright? You don’t need to do this. We don’t need to do this if you are not comfortable enough” Worried blue eyes.

“I told you I wanted to support you. This is a huge moment in your career and I want to be with you.” She grabs and kisses the back of my hand murmuring a soft ‘I love you’.

“I don’t even have a speech, in case, you know…”

“You’ll be fine, my love”

The car stops and despite the windows are tinted we can see the thousand of flashes surround us. Clarke rechecks her makeup with the cell phone and spares me a mother quick glance to see mine, I suppose. She is trying to act so toughly for me but two years we can see through everything when it comes to us.

The door is opened and someone helps Clarke to step outside the car. After her, another one helps me and once we are both outside, next to each other, she reaches my hand and squeezes it a couple of times to catch my attention. I am, certainly, I bit startled, well… I knew the Oscar was a big deal but the flashes and the screaming crowns, cameras… it’s a lot. It only takes our eyes to meet again and I can quickly sense my shoulder relaxed.

“Are you ready, my love?” She whispers in my ear, after a quick nod, her lips gosh my cheek.

* * *

As much Clarke whined about living in London, it was a matter of time the city grows on her. So, right now, as many Sundays, we find ourselves enjoying the end of the summer in a pretty green garden. We were not the only ones who decided to come today, the park is full of people, a small tai chi group on my left, couples enjoying the good weather, children playing, watched attentively, by anxious parents and a very old couple wander along slowly.

Meanwhile, I am sitting in this single wooden bench on the top of the garden reading one of my favourites books, ‘The house of the spirits’ by Isabel Allende. A warm hand find mine and lace our fingers together. My attention is dragged to the blonde besides me. Our third anniversary is due in two months and looking at her, I can’t help to thank whoever is up there. Despite I can’t take my eyes off of her, Clarke is looking out, totally relaxed, as in another place, the only thing that allows me to know she is somehow still ‘here’ is her thump, drawing invisible lines in the back of my hand. Her other hand posed protectively in her big, round and beautiful belly.

She one told me on this same bench that some people do spend their lives together and I don’t even understand how or why, but I believed her. I still do. Now I have three hearts.

The End. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a hell of a ride. Thank you so much for reading the story. It was my first experience as a 'writer' in English and I must admit I was a bit scared. I do know I have a lot to improve, but I certainly am proud of the result. Thank you again for the support, comments, and kudos. 
> 
> As I said in the last chapter, I am taking a couple of weeks to heal properly my shoulder and after that, I am starting the next fic. By the way, you still can choose which movie: Wedding Crashers, The Notebook and The Lake House.
> 
> Comment below your thoughts about this fic!
> 
> May we meet again.


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